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PinkMarshMallow
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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 03:51 AM
  #1
Okay I dont get what's going on.
I'm straight woman but I watch lesbian porn.
I find myself looking at particular at lesbian strap on porn. I dont know why.

Does this make me gay?
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Default Apr 22, 2020 at 04:12 AM
  #2
Not necessarily. Could it be curiosity? Do you find yourself aroused by it?
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Default Apr 22, 2020 at 05:58 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by ARaven0137 View Post
Not necessarily. Could it be curiosity? Do you find yourself aroused by it?
Yes. But only the strap on part. Or the sex toys part.

I find looking at the straight porn the men are always ugly and they seem to mistreat women.
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Smile Apr 22, 2020 at 03:32 PM
  #4
From my perspective at least, perhaps the important thing here is to consider that, nowadays, we don't tend to think of sexual orientation as being either / or... either you're attracted to members of the opposite gender or you're attracted to members of your own gender (whatever your own gender identity happens to be.) We tend to think of sexual orientation as being more on a continuum with completely heterosexual at one end & gay / lesbian at the other. And in between there are resting places for all sorts of sexual orientation combinations. (At least that's the way I think about it.)

If we were honest many of us, if not most, would fall somewhere in between the two polar opposites on the sexual orientation continuum. So perhaps the enjoyment you're experiencing watching lesbian porn suggests there is some portion of your psyche that is in fact attracted to members of your own gender? That doesn't make you lesbian necessarily though, at least not in my book. That just makes you "normal". Whatever that is...

One thing one does have to keep in mind though is that viewing internet porn can, over time, have a negative effect on one's ability to enjoy the real thing. Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, on the subject:

How Pornography Can Hurt Your Sex Life


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Trig Apr 22, 2020 at 07:56 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
From my perspective at least, perhaps the important thing here is to consider that, nowadays, we don't tend to think of sexual orientation as being either / or... either you're attracted to members of the opposite gender or you're attracted to members of your own gender (whatever your own gender identity happens to be.) We tend to think of sexual orientation as being more on a continuum with completely heterosexual at one end & gay / lesbian at the other. And in between there are resting places for all sorts of sexual orientation combinations. (At least that's the way I think about it.)

If we were honest many of us, if not most, would fall somewhere in between the two polar opposites on the sexual orientation continuum. So perhaps the enjoyment you're experiencing watching lesbian porn suggests there is some portion of your psyche that is in fact attracted to members of your own gender? That doesn't make you lesbian necessarily though, at least not in my book. That just makes you "normal". Whatever that is...

One thing one does have to keep in mind though is that viewing internet porn can, over time, have a negative effect on one's ability to enjoy the real thing. Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, on the



Hey Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it. Interesting look about how what we are attracted to can fall on different scales. When I was gorwing up early 90's and early 2000's its was like you are lebsian or gay or bisexual or straight.
So its interesting what you brought up with.

I was actually builled at a all girl catholic school of assumption I was gay. It all started because I told my friend I had a dream of her and me standing opposite beds naked and looked at each other private parts. For some reason I felt the need to tell her. I think it was because I felt guitly in having that dream and telling her would lift that guilt away. Like in Catholicism you go to confession.
So I told her and she literally freaked out and ran away from me and then she told everyone I was gay. So much so I started to believe I was gay. I even acted out on it. Meaning I had a online girlfriend online. But never have kissed a girl.
It got so bad the bullying that I had 6 weeks off from school and then changed to a public school.
I recalled having this crush on this one girl, but realised I was forcing myself to like the same sex.
So I thought at the time I wasnt gay anymore.
Eventually I found out that friend who builled me was bisexual had sexual intercourse with a girl.
So maybe she was projecting her fears of herself on to me.
But it got me into lesbian porn.

Possible trigger:
I didnt know this until my therapist and I discovered this. So I wonder if there is a key in there why I'm attracted to lesbian porn..

Last edited by bluekoi; Apr 22, 2020 at 08:21 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon. Apply trigger code.
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Default Apr 24, 2020 at 05:21 AM
  #6
I'm sorry you went through all that, that's rough. I hope your time in here helps you find some answers. My personal opinion, no professional by any means, no, watching same-sex porn does not mean you're lesbian. It could be an indicator, but I think you'd have to have a lot more indicators popping up before being more sure. Perhaps, as Skeezy suggested, you're a little closer on the spectrum to being bi than you might have thought. Or it could be as simple as you mused earlier: good straight porn is hard to find.

A little of my background, I'm a porn addict trying to kick my addiction, and find ways to manage my sexual needs that don't harm my relationship. Years and years ago when I first started watching porn, I watched lesbian porn almost exclusively for similar reasons to what you shared: the men are frequently boorish and unattractive, and their acting is usually atrocious and degrading towards the women (speaking of that spectrum, apparently I don't enjoy porn with unattractive men in it, so there's that). However, I had a much easier time finding lesbian porn where the women were both attractive, who didn't treat each other poorly, and their acting was much more believable. I slowly started finding more acceptable straight porn as time progressed, and then my measure of "acceptable" slowly became laxer as my addiction worsened and I needed different mediums of stimulation, but lesbian porn remained a solid go-to when I needed my fix. So I get what you're saying about straight porn. A lot of it just sucks.

That said, I'm curious. Are there particular times you feel the desire to view this porn, or are there things that trigger the desire? Is it on a frequent basis or just once in a while? And forgive me if this question is too personal, but do you use it as a masturbation aid or are the two typically exclusive? The reason I'm asking all this is perhaps there's some clues to be found in the context. Maybe the desire to view is triggered by a person you know, or by seeing a woman you find attractive. It could be just something you find excites you right now, something fresh and exciting to stimulate you, or perhaps it's been more pervasive than that in your life, more consistent. Perhaps there's something else going on, and the context of your consumption will reveal that thing. If nothing else, these are things you can ponder and perhaps bring up with your therapist the next time you see them. Have you discussed your concerns around your porn consumption with them?

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Default May 01, 2020 at 07:15 PM
  #7
No, watching lesbian porn does not make you a lesbian. Sexuality is complex. It is very possible for a woman to be turned on by fantasies of other women, including porn, and be more turned on by men in real life.

Also I'm sorry you went through that bullying in school. It makes sense to me that you would be confused and wondering.

Exploring our sexuality is healthy and so is learning about ourselves.

It is ok to be attracted to just men, or just women, or both, btw. I wonder if you feel like being a lesbian is wrong bc of what your peers put you through?

But yeah, in my opinion, sexuality can be complex. I've heard people can be turned on by fantasies of situations that they definitely would not want to experience in real life.
Possible trigger:


And, I think you're right about the bisexual individual who bullied you. She was probably projecting her insecurities onto you.
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Default May 02, 2020 at 12:52 PM
  #8
I also believe sexuality is fluid. We don't need to compartmentalize ourselves to appreciate what we enjoy.

As for porn, I'm with you. The women are by far more attractive to the eye than the men, IMO. In fact, I find the men cheesey and hard to watch. Lol

This could also be due to the fact that women in porn represents "us" and we are aroused by what they're "feeling", instead.
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