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hobbypoet
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Default May 08, 2020 at 02:32 PM
  #1
So, I really have this question. Because, when people ask for my pronouns they have a problem with me saying "He/She/They." They want me to pick one specifically. But what if I don't have a specific pronoun? I mean, I prefer to go by masculine ones, I'm genderfluid. But some days I have fun doing make-up and looking pretty. I'm not sure what gender I am so I cover all the bases.

I have a female body. I identify as male. But I don't hate my body, or feel like I need to change it. I really love myself. Do I want at least top surgery? I'm thinking about it down the road. But I don't go through my gender feelings hating myself or my reflection. There's no real psychological distress, just having to deal with abuse or comments from my family members. I see a boy in the mirror despite what shape and what's on my body. I just think I confuse people. Like they want a black and white category for me to be in, but I'm all rainbows and outside of the box.

Is that a problem? I hope it's okay for me to just be myself.
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Smile May 10, 2020 at 01:01 PM
  #2
Thanks for posting this. I'm not the best member to be replying to it. (Hopefully there will yet be other PC members who will reply.) But I noticed you had yet to receive a reply. So I thought I would offer one.

You asked if it's okay to just be yourself. And, of course, the answer (I believe) is yes absolutely. In doing so, though, one does have to be aware that one is likely to attract some flack along the way, as they say. People just seem to feel the need to define everyone they meet into some type of box or other.

It also seems, to me at least, the concept of "personal pronouns" is still pretty young & not particularly well defined. I myself am an old man now. But I've waged a life-long struggle with my gender identity. However when I was young there were boys & there were girls. And if you didn't happen to fall neatly into one of those two categories, you darned well kept it to yourself if you knew what was good for you. It's nice to see things are changing now.

So anyway... my thinking with regard to your post would be just be the rainbow you are. Yes other people may fuss-&-fume because try as they might they just can't seem to squeeze you into one of those little boxes. But that's their problem. As long as you're okay with it, it's like the old saying goes: it's simply a case of mind over matter. As long as you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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Bill3
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Default May 16, 2020 at 02:52 PM
  #3
Quote:
Like they want a black and white category for me to be in, but I'm all rainbows and outside of the box.
Another perspective on family and friends is perhaps they don't want to offend you by using an incorrect pronoun. Therefore they come to you and ask what they should use.

How do you react if someone uses a pronoun that isn't fitting at the moment?
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Default Jun 07, 2020 at 03:49 AM
  #4
Hi hobbypoet. The world is slowly but fortunately surely catching up to the realities that we live with every day. Until extremely recently I identified as an androgyne. Now I'm comfortable saying my gender is male but a lot of those thoughts and feelings are still there. Have you tried having an honest discussion with your family about what being genderfluid is like? The problem is most people can sort of understand what being a man in a woman's body is like. But what we've lived with forever is so far out of most people's experience we may as well tell them we're a horse in a human body. A lot (most?) transexuals don't understand what we go through either although a good number of them try.

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