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flowerfairy125
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Heart Jun 03, 2020 at 12:50 AM
  #1
I am confused about my sexuality and I thought you guys can help.

It started in the end of sixth grade when I had a “feeling” for a girl named Bella then at middle school I had the same feelings for a friend of mines that’s named annya. This feeling is hard to explain in my part but whenever I think of the person, in the way of a relationship I get butterflies in my heart but whenever I meet up with them in real life those feeling change in friendliness. I don’t know what to do or how to deal with it because I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

Please help me with answers or anything else
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Default Jun 03, 2020 at 05:39 PM
  #2
Hi flowerfairy125,

I wish I had something helpful to suggest, but sadly I am at a loss. The human brain is so mysterious. I don't know if we will ever understand it completely. I am so very sorry, however, that you are in such distress and confusion. It must be so difficult for you. My heart goes out to you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Smile Jun 03, 2020 at 06:06 PM
  #3
Hello flowerfairy: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

I don't know as I can really explain what you are experiencing. Perhaps I could speculate that you have a yearning for affection, maybe something you didn't receive enough of growing up, that is causing you to have the feelings you're experiencing. And perhaps the feelings you're experiencing may be directed at these two girls because they were or are familiar & feel safe? Honestly I don't really know. These are simply ideas I'm throwing out.

One thing I do know, from personal experience, is that it's not at all unusual for thoughts about something to feel much more intense than does the actual experience. Often the real experience one has, after imagining something, can be a letdown. So it makes sense to me that when you would think about these girls you might get butterflies in your heart. But when you actually meet up with them you simply feel friendliness. This all may have nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It may have to do with something about your life, past & / or present, that is lacking.

One concept you might look into, in regard to this, is the idea of childhood emotional neglect. There's a forum, here on PC, dedicated to that subject. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/child...ional-neglect/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Default Jun 07, 2020 at 01:35 AM
  #4
Could this be it?

Emotional bisexuals: have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.

Were you sexually attracted to those girls?
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