cheaters

i have got a problem you see i was with this guy for a year and it was going great so i felt i was ready for a sexual relationship and well you get it.

a few monthes after that we split up and he got with another girl but she was underage so he cheated on her with me i also had a boyfriend at the time but he lived so far away i felt really bad for her and i eventually told her and they split up. my boyfriend dumped me but he did not know i had cheated until a few weeks ago when he had a go at me and said that i was ruining his life so i just told him that if he was going to hate me id give him a reason and my reason pushed him over the edge he hasn't talked to me since.

so i was single then i met this guy who was alot older then me 6 years to be exact he had a girlfriend who was prgnant and he talked me into having sex with him after we did he got all jealous of the people i was talking to so i told him he had to make a decision and he chose his pregnant girlfriend so i found another boyfriend to make him jealous it worked and i cheated on him aswell then i got with this guy and we weren't even together for a week and he cheated on me with a chick i work with a week after that he went back to his pregnant girlfriend

then i went back to my first and started talking to him again and he had a new girlfriend and we were in his room then he came on to me and well ya know so i felt bad cuz she didn't deserve that a couple of weeks later they broke up because he wasn't interested in her anymore and him and i til this day have a friends with benefits thing going on....

but i feel i deserve better and that i need to find a guy who i will stand by and not cheat on cuz i am no better then them if i stay how i am now.

how can i prove that i am not that bad person anymore?

Jazz, I'm hearing a lot of bad decisions by a lot of people. It's good that you're owning up to your part in this. It's not a judgement, it's just that you're going to have trouble getting what you want without admitting your own shortcomings.

So how to prove you've changed and get into a good relationship? Well, practice. Wait for a nice guy you feel like you can trust and date him. Try holding off on sex until there's more intimacy between you. And most of all, don't cheat on him.

Then when that relationship fails (as most of them do), don't take revenge, be mature about it, and move on. Meet another nice guy, build some trust, and do your best.

One day, it might just work out.

Cyran0

Jazz.>>>>. I use a small rule ..... 366 days . If I know a peep that long ,, for either a Friend or sexual partner ??

I have given a year of myself ,, and I or them ,,, or mutually both ,>>>> . Should know if a future awaits .

But to feel ,,,>>...........when that relationship fails ( as most of them do ) , gone back to and made again when the door slams and the cake in the oven falls .

Go with what ya know at that point in time and You will always be able to recreate that flavor that held the recipie for LOVE together.

1 year is a very short time span . If and when you believe you may have found the one to spend a lifetime with .

thaks guys that is really great but im not sure if i could break the cycle it is really hard to avoid my ex and he knows exactly how to get his way which sucks

If he knows exactly how to get his way.......envision his manipulation ahead of time....and envision yourself setting up a boundary, what you'll say to keep your distance....then stand strong and do as planned...even write about it here..then report back to us..you said you wanted to chnage things, right? you can do it....

You're not...people make harsh judgements at times that can lead you to believe so. My recommendation, save sex for love but don't confuse the two as one.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can take advantage of you without your consent."

You seem to have a lot of drama in your life. . .why do you need that? Have you ever thought about exploring that with a therapist or clergy person?

Be safe. . .all this cheating can spread contagious stuff, you know.

do not cheat.

eeeeerrrrrrrrrrrm Jazz You going to tell it out ,, your a teen and Drama goes with the territory ?

Like I said earlier >>> 1 year is very short ,,, for REAL !!!

wow guys that is great help thanks heaps i have found a guy who i think is going to help me through this and i feel i have so much in common with him so yeah thankyou world you are smiling at me now

see some guys just dnk wht they got till its gone i could not be like tht i despice any one who is cheating is bad and comes with head ache and heart ache

i just find it really hard to stay faithful when my boyfriend doesn't live here and my ex is here it is so stupid

i hate cheaters also so yeah i hate myself i know i am a horrible person

and you are probably all thinking i am just a teenage drama queen but i have had a pretty messed up life and hav lost most of the ppl i trust

so im sorry if my posts seem like they are going nowhere

I hope it will keep doing so

I will tell you what i know about healing...

1. You should BE AWARE OF it.
2. You should TAKE RESPONSIBILITY because no one but YOU are responsibel for your won decissions

3. Do you like it or you want to change? if you do-
4. you should INVESTIGATE and understand why do you haev this behavior.

From what i read you startign jumping into sex and relationships very fast after that year of having a boyfriend.

Why is that? You feel you can`t resist? You think it gives you an adventage?

There is a reaosn behind this behavior..after you discover it...well you should except yourself whatever there reason is and see how you don`t believe it any more.

Most of our reactions are not real feelings but thoughts masked into feelings which and you believe in them and have been acting unconciously for years. So when you discover this you should try to convince yourself agains it. Now fighting it better letting go.

But that is how this self work goes as far as i know

You started having this type of behaviour for a reason, and if you discover what lies behind it you can change yourself.

Don`t rely on another "nice guy" rely on YOURSELF.

good luck

i worked out why i do it

it is because i know i am still in love with my ex and to overcome this i either need to tell him how i feel or work on moving on