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Default Jun 13, 2008 at 03:52 PM
  #1
My teenaged son told his father and myself that he was gay yesterday. Frankly it didn’t come as a surprise to either of us, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying. It’s real now. We let him know that we’re always here for him if he wants to talk. I’m so happy that he felt comfortable enough to discuss it with us. I’m sure I said all of the wrong things.

We are in a small rural area and it is full of hate and discrimination. I know everyone experiences hardships, but I wish that I could spare him the horrors that he’s going to face. If the kids at school find out his life will be hell, and probably his twin’s as well.

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Default Jun 13, 2008 at 04:20 PM
  #2
It's great that he was comfortable enough to tell you, and even greater that you are accepting of it. I can tell you that means more than anything you might or might not have said.

I'll keep all of you in my thoughts and hope that the trouble you expect does not come to pass.

Out of the closet Out of the closet

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Default Jun 13, 2008 at 04:30 PM
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what a fantastic relationship you all have. So wonderful he felt comfy enough to tell you like Candy says ... and the fact you've accepted him too with open arms which of course every parent should if their child is happy..... a lot of people are so homophobic and it really hurts me that people dont live and let live .... like you i hope life will be easy for him, at least he has accepted who he is and that alone will be easier for him ....so many young men and women try to hide their feelings because of others' ignorance.

((((((((((((((((AAAAA AND SON AND FAMILY))))))))))))))))))

wishing you all the best without any fuss ......Jinny xoxoxoxo Out of the closet Out of the closet Out of the closet Out of the closet Out of the closet
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Default Jun 13, 2008 at 04:36 PM
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Thanks you guys! Really! It brings a tears to my eyes. I love my children so much, and their happiness is all I want. I just don't know what advice to give him. There's no doubt in my mind a person is born one way or another. I don't want him to confuse my desire to protect him with being ashamed.

I tried very much to let him know that this isn't something that we love him in spite of, but rather we love and think he's perfect just the way he is, whatever that may be.

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Default Jun 13, 2008 at 05:23 PM
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okay. first i'd like the say ur amazing parents for accepting him for who he is. and im also gay and i also live in a choatic rural area. im still in high school but im not "out of the closet" noone knows im gay, and i dont even "act" gay what so ever, i act normal, like a normal boy so noone knows im gay. i tried telling my mom before but she didnt beleive it at all. she said i wasnt and blew it to the side like a joke. thats why i say ur awesome parents. u accept him for who he is. trust me. he really needs it. thanx for being so awesome. best of luck for u all.
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Default Jun 13, 2008 at 09:16 PM
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Thanks so much psych16m. I'm sorry that your parents aren't more supportive. I'd suggest trying to tell mom again when you're a bit older. She might not be ready to listen now. She might be like me and terrified by the stupidity and prejudice that you're going to face in life.

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Default Jun 14, 2008 at 08:27 AM
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Awwwww AAAAA I am so happy for your son that he felt able to talk to you and his dad ! It shows what a great job you have both done with him ! Its fantastic I really admire you both !

I only hope my children can be as open with us if they ever need to.

Hugs to you and ALL your family.

Trish. Out of the closet
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Default Jun 14, 2008 at 09:20 AM
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(((((Tishie))))) Thanks so much! Dad took him for a ride last night and had a talk with him. Neither will tell me what was said, except that dad threw his unconditional support in the ring on a one to one basis and gave him the "talk".

I talked with his siblings yesterday, feeling the waters to make sure that nothing had changed between them. I do have some awesome kids! I was a bit concerned that his twin might feel embarassed or worry about the backlash that he'll recieve (you know how teenagers can be). I am so proud of his response, of all of them!

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Default Jun 15, 2008 at 04:34 PM
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you have done so very good... that your son feels he can talk about such a very important thing with the both of you.. that he is so comfortable with you guys that he knows.. that he will be accepted.. or he probably wouldn't have told either one of you.. and here.. he has two parents.. that he trusts... how very wonderful for him... that he has parents.. like you...
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Default Jun 15, 2008 at 05:59 PM
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Many now that the pressure is off him to "disclose to parents" he will relax some about it? Out of the closet A twin eh? How kewl.

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Default Jun 17, 2008 at 12:00 PM
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I feel so honored that he trusts us. As parents you try to make your kids understand that you love them no matter what. It's so nice to know that they've heard our message and are willing to let us into their life.

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Default Jun 21, 2008 at 09:18 PM
  #12
I would like to wish you a belated congratulations. Not because your son is gay, but rather that your son had the courage to tell you that he was gay.

Telling a parent that they are gay is probably one of the hardest things a young person or any person for that matter, will have to do. It takes much courage, but it also takes a lot of trust.

Trust that their parent's will continue to love them. Trust, that after said, they will continue to be treated with the love and respect that they have come to know and to depend. Ironically, the parent's who have raised their children to be comfortable in that trust, aren't really surprised when their children come out. I know I wasn't.

But sometimes that trust is misplaced. Some parent's, even those who have raised their children to trust in their unending love, react very negatively, even maliciously. It is those children who must not only suffer what society has to dish out, but to handle all that crap without the love and understanding of their most special resource, their parents. And as you said, life can be very tough for someone who is "out".

I have quite a few family members, and consequently many friends who are gay. Some were treated with love and acceptance when they came out, others continue to search for the love and acceptance they once felt. (We irish catholics can be a tough bunch to crack Out of the closet).

It does my heart good to see that there continues to be parents out their like you and your husband, Out of the closet parent's who put their love for their children before all else!! For that a big thank you AND congratulations. You did a great job both raising and loving your son!

Take care everyone.
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Default Jun 21, 2008 at 09:39 PM
  #13
AAAA so glad you are being supportive parents.....and yes he may have some problems with the other Kids in school etc....Lets
hope Not...Right..!

If he does encounter that problem you may want to mention to him
to look into support groups in your area .....?

Maybe this would help him out....nowadays high school N even community colleges have support groups for younger people coming
out.

Is your sons twin Fraternal, Identical....? I take it he does not know yet??

Well take care and I wish you the best on this ONE...!!!

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Default Jun 21, 2008 at 10:39 PM
  #14
Good suggestion Ziggy Out of the closet

PFlag, is a support group for gays and their families. The Gay/Straight Alliance is a group open to all students The GSA is on many high school and most college campuses, and no student has to identify their sexual preference. This group was started to open dialogue between gay and straight people, and to foster understanding and acceptance between the two groups.

There are many support, and reference books out there for gays and their families. PM me if you would like some titles.

Sending up a supportive prayer for you, your son, and your family. Take care.
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Default Jun 22, 2008 at 01:34 PM
  #15
My twins are identical mirror image twins. Ironically the college my daughter is attending had been doing a study on gender identification involving identical twins.

When we went for the Open House tour and the young man that was in charge of the study gave us a tour of his part of the department he stated the questions he was attempting to answer. My mouth has no filter so to my daughter's mortification I answered some of those questions automatically.

She wasn't upset or embarrassed about her brother, but of the sudden attention we got from the very cute upper classman conducting the tour. Identical twins being in short supply, he was eager to compare notes. While the rest of the group was looking through his labs and information, he talked to my daughter and I. His study was on toddlers.

I've raised my children to judge a person based upon their character and actions. To befriend the child that has no friends and to treat everyone as they would like to be treated. It has caused problems through the years. When they were in elementary school and the bully's would try to rally support when they were picking on other kids, mine did not go with the flow just because it was the easy thing to do.

I've been blessed with four wonderful children. I'm proud of each and every one of them.

I thank you all for the support. I have been looking for something like PFlag (right name?) in this area.

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