a personal fact to help others...

I would like to share one of my well kept secrets with all of you. I have herpes simplex. I had my first breakout in 2005. That was my first and only breakout. I was uncareful and caught it from one of my past sexual partners, I should have known better. I didn't realise how many woman this man actually slept with. I don't know an exact number or anything, but he was "doing" females left and right. Maybe he knew he had it, maybe he didn't, who knows. But why should I hide something personal like this? Well its personal choice whether you share something like this or not. I figure maybe I can make a positive impact on someone. I was given Valtrex (that is one heck of a strong medicine) I swear I could feel it working! But please protect yourself, don't be scared to get tested. I'm glad herpes is the only thing I have. My husband loves me the way I am, he knows I have it. It was hard to break the ice, because the outbreak didnt happen until probably 6 months after I had came into contact with the virus, So I was only with my hubby 2 months when the outbreak hit. I was like craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! Just because I only had one outbreak since being diagnosed 3 years ago doesnt mean I don't have it still. Now I know there are miricles where things just vanish and stun docs, but technically if you have herpes, you have it for life.

It took a lot of courage for you to do this so I will back you up. I just found out that I also have it. I had my first and only outbreak 3 months ago, while I was pregnant. My (current) husband tested negative, so I know I must have contracted it from my first husband, who I was with from 1993 to 1999. When I first started dating him, he complained about getting 'yeast infections' on his stuff, and since he wasn't circumcised, it seemed plausible to me. After 2 years together, he either discovered or decided to confess that the 'yeast infections' were actually herpes. Great. Oddly, I did not have a single outbreak until 10 years after we had last been intimate, but the virus doesn't disappear.

It is an annoying and painful skin condition, but it is not dangerous or life-threatening (except to an unborn baby - get medication during the last month of pregnancy). If there wasn't such a stigma, I believe we could reduce its spread because people would be more open to talking about it. Consider eczema or chicken pox - there is no shame in those conditions...

It is a disease for life, and thanks for the courage posting. It is (I believe) the most common STD, but people either don't know or don't care that they're spreading it. Another common misconception (at least in my time) is that a cold sore on your mouth could not be spread to the genitals.

So even if you think you're "safe" because yourself or your partner only gets cold sores, you can spread it not only via oral sex, but if you monkey around with the sore on your mouth then go to the bathroom you can spread it to yourself. Granted the chance are slim unless there is an open sore in the genital area, but it can happen.

When I was a CNA, when washing a resident with cold sores a disposable wash cloth was used as not to accidentally spread it.

Thanks, PC makes me brave! I figure some people won't have the courage to post, that is okay too, but i will post to represent anyone that has it but doesn't want to share. The GOOD thing is (yes), its NOT life theatening which is one thing that can still make us with it look at-at least 1 positive. At least its not HIV right?!?! Be glad for that!! Pregnancy is my biggest worry, so I'm going to be paranoid-mama when we decide to have one.

So... What does that mean for sex with life partners? I guess I'm wondering whether the typical choice is to use condoms forever... Or for the partner to expose themself to the virus (since it can be so well controlled with medication).

Herpes is a virus. A relative of the virus that results in coldsores (though a different strain). I think warts is another virus too (where the genital and non genital varieties are different strains)...

I guess I'm wondering 'cause my previous partner was so careful about safe sex practices that I wondered whether he might have picked something up but didn't want to tell me yet... He made comments about 'ALWAYS' using a condom etc and it got me wondering whether he meant before we both went to the doctor and shared our results or literally 'ALWAYS'.

Can it be passed to the foetus? How does the conception thing work? Lab samples?

(I'm genuinely interested. I think the stigma is a shame, too)

If I wansn't married and was knowingly out there with herpes, I really don't know what I would do, simply because I'm married, so that situation never popped up. We don't use protection, so at any time yes I could spread it to him. He knows the risk, but that is a risk he is willing to take, "for sickness and in health, for better for worse" i guess... As far as having a baby, the longer you have had herpes the more antibodies you have developed against it. Your baby will be born with these antibodies but that doesnt mean the baby is completely protected against it, they can still get it. I beleive I read somewhere that you are allowed to give birth vaginally just as long as you do not have a current outbreak and the herpes is not present in the birth conal (don't quote me on that, but I could have sworn i read that somewhere). If I can, I want to do it vaginally, but I have heard from women with herpes that they seem to have outbreaks and flare ups more often during pregnancy for some reason. Ahh! My OBGYN says that when I become pregnant they have to keep a close eye on me since I have herpes.

Do a google search, you will get lots of info on this, obviously women with herpes are not necessarily going to not have babies just because they have herpes so there is plenty of info out there.

well that is what happened to me. as i said, i didnt even kno i had it until i was 7 months pregnant. my ob had me take valtrex during my last month and checked me when i was in labor. my hasband also has elected to take the risk and go without condoms. we've had an active sex life for 8 years and he's never contracted it, and he doesn't want me to take the medication although i would be happy to.

Maybe some people just cannot contract it (like your hubby LMo, and my hubby). That might sound a little far-fetched, but I cannot seem to contract poison Ivy, (weird enough my name is ivy) but I can go up to the poisonous stuff and rub it into my skin and i still dont get it! Even if I touch an infected persons skin (my hubby) I still cant catch it! So if there is someone out there like me who just cant seem to catch something like that, maybe there are some strange people out there that cannot catch herpes. Just maybe...............

well, in my husband's case, ad maybe in yours, i just dont think he was exposed to it. as i said, i've never knowingly had an outbreak, and that's wehen it's contagious. my ob/gyn said that i theoretically could have had outbreaks internally though

It seems to me, and I may be mistaken it has been awhile since my classes so memory might be hazy, but it is easier for a woman to catch. Women get small cuts during vigorous sex that increase their chance of getting the disease when he is "shedding it".

I do recall that it can take up to 10 years to present itself. Stress and illness can increase change of catching and breaking out.