Out of Control

I was diagnosed with bipolar a couple of years back. Knew something was wrong but didn't know what until then. Since then and before I will go into a spell and have sex with men and woman. I am in a relationship not the most healthiest one not very supportive of my needs in any way but I have been with this man since I was 16 years old. Recently about a month ago I had a spell and went and found 2 random guys took them home and had sex with them and after words I felt really bad. And I am nervous all the time cause I can not talk about it with anybody. When i am normal I do not do that kind of stuff but I get manic I will do what ever and it is usaully sex oriented. I can't take the pressure of the things I do I really try to be good. And I am wondering is this behavior really the real me or is there some underlining issue. I have been molested before and I thought I was over all of that but when men start to touch me I freeze up and let them have their way when I am with women it is diffrent I have fun and they do to does that make me gay not that I have a problem with it but my family sure would. And I love sex with men too I seem to want to pleasethem for some reason. Is bipolar a real mental desiese I read that it is chemical imbalence in your brainif that is the case why is it not treated by society like a real desiese. All the people where I live do not want to hear about my husband even said one time it is all in your head. well duhthat is my point.

If your Bipolar, and everyone is saying that the entire illness is simply in your head, it may be better to get a doctors opinion. You seem to maybe need some sort of medication since Bipolar disorder is a perfectly valid illness that can be managed with medication.

While these medications won't cure you, they may help balance you out so you don't end up going home with someone you don't know.

The mania you describe is very common with bipolar. It’s not in your head, well I guess technically it is in your head, it’s a chemical imbalance. Find a doctor that you’re comfortable with and discuss it with him. There are medications out there to keep your mania at bay. I’m sorry that you’re facing ignorance, there is help out there. It might take a while to find the medial combination that’s right for you, don’t get discouraged.

if you were molested before, im sure it has something to do with the fact that your form of (mania if it is) is sexually oriented.

I have been dignosed but like so many other people like me I quit taking meds when i feel better. well after my last episode i promised my self i would never go off of my meds agian and I have kept that promise to my self for a month now and i feel really good. Now I just got to forgive myself for what i have done and move on. hopefully that will happen sooner than later. this web site is helping thank you guys for responding.