feeling very unwanted

I am married two and 1/2 years now and my sex life is going no where quick. He is always more interested in the TV the computer etc. If he wants to have sex it is in the afternoon about every 7-10 tens when he gets home from work. We used to have sex about 6 x a week, then after about a year 1/2 of marriage that stopped. I have always been hypersexual, but had never found the right person who I wanted to let know that or wanted to be with that much. I really thought this time it was different.....it's not. He has lost interest in me, except those few moments when he is in the mood. And finally when he is in the mood, I feel obligated to perform. I hate it. Should we only be intimate when he is ready? That is precisely how I feel? Additionally, I feel very unwanted and unloved. We had a baby about 6 mos. ago and I got my tubes tied. I am very in love with my baby and he complains I don't rub his feet or his head or his back anymore. I do sit with the baby at night with him. I don't think he sees the difference between me spending time with the baby, he thinks I am ignoring him? He tonight just compared me to his mother, saying I don't care about him. I do just about everything for him. If he doesn't want to hold or feed the baby, he just says no! I am expected to do so much and then he claims I don't appreciate him (he means his job which requires quite a bit of overtime), but I do and I miss him, but he comes home and is always tired. He has decided about a year ago he only wants to have sex in the afternoon....I can't figure this out. What happened to the past? Wouldn't any person love to have sex before bed and go to sleep all cuddled up and happy? Is it me with the problem. He makes me feel unattractive and worthless constantly. But he claims I have a self esteem problem? With him putting me down, who wouldn't? But our sex life is part of my self esteem, he went from not able to keep his hands off me to acting like if I want anything, that's my problem not his. The saddest part is, is all I want is him. I cry about it everyday, but not around him. He feels crying is a weakness. Am I so wrong? Is it just that we are now married people who don't have sex? I don't know how long I can live feeling like this....I am going to the gym and trying to get my before baby body back...but really his ex-wife is a large, unattractive woman and he gave it to her regularly....there must be something wrong with me. I must admit, if I actually say what I am feeling it leads to a fight....but if I keep walking on the eggshells, he will be nice and in fact, if it is the afternoon.....once a week or more I might even get him to be with me. I know I am rambling but finally, I must say, this is not the man he presented himself to be sexually. I think he has a girlfriend more and more each day. I must ask you does sex drive just go away at a blink or I need honesty from someone, can you just stop it? I can't. Any feedback is very appreciated.

I see some red flags here.........that when you cry he isn't concerned just calls it 'weakness...!' That if you are honest about issues it leads to a fight, that you feel you have to walk around on eggshells...Sex is a huge part of marriage, not a small part, to me or to you from what I read about your sex drive..also I have read about men who change after their wife has a baby, and this may be the case....what does he say about marriage counseling? What if this marriage doesn't work, are you prepared or have some sort of a plan B? Write again......

I am so sorry that he is treating you this way, I feel you when you say his x-wife was a large ugly woman, i feel the same thing about my hubbies x-girlfriend whom he has kids with. (just thought id say that to try and cheer you up).