What a mistake.

last night i stayed over at a friends, and after watching a film we all decided to stay the night in her brothers room with two of his friends as well. my friend and one of her brother's friends stayed on the floor, and her brother (who i've also been good friends with for a number of years) slept in the middle, with me and one of his friends on each side.
we'd all had a bit to drink, and i was pretty sure everyone had started to sleep. me and her brother were playfighting on the bed, kinda innocently... then it got a bit sexual. i did some stuff and i let him do some that im not especially proud of... trouble is, his friend who was asleep on his other side was awake. and he saw the whole thing & has begun to tell everyone. both me and the guy are denying it and so far i dont think my friend believes it... but if she finds out its true it'll be over for me and her
if the guy who saw tells everyone at school.. thats it, my lifes over.
what do i do? the right thing and destroy my life or just lie through my teeth?
xxx

fyi, i dont normally do this. i never went this far with my ex bf who i broke up with a month ago.. mainly because i wouldnt.

I can remember what it was like to be a teen. ((bananasarecool))

I say when the topic comes up again, don't feed it. Don't get defensive, don't excessively deny it, and don't try to rationalize it. Just try and avoid making comments about it. If asked just say... "this story is not even worth me commenting any more on--believe what you want about me." Then walk away. If he does the same, the gossip will eventually get old. If he starts bragging about it, don't worry about that either. Most of the time the boys that age who brag about all their sex acts are usually the ones who REALLY aren't getting any.

As for losing your friend... the same thing was likely happening on the bedroom floor at some point during the night as well.

I think most adults, if they answer honestly, will admit that they've had a similar experience in their life.

I know the social pressure cooker that a lot of teens suffer in at school, so you have my sympathies. I think chaotic's given you some good advice. If you can find a place within yourself where you honestly don't care what people think, then that can help take some of the sting out of whatever anyone's going to say.

(((((((((((((( bananasarecool ))))))))))))))))))))))

BTW...bananas are my fav fruit LOL

I'm going to go out on a limb here and be a mom (cuz that's what I am and I can't help myself)

Even though I'm a mom, I was also a teenager too. I do remember the stress and the hurtful things that happen in teenage years. While it is very normal to be curious about sex and petting etc....when one throws in alcohol/drugs into the mix, one's inhibitions are very easily disregarded and one can make not so good decisions. You got caught up in a typical thing that happens, and made a decision that you normally wouldn't have made if you had not been drinking.

Things like this happen often. Please don't beat yourself up over it, but learn from the experience and apply that knowledge so that you don't end up in this situation by your own doing again

You definitely do not have to expand on your situation with anyone who asks you about it. It's no one's business but your own. Besides, people will think what they want anyways. Remember that your actions of abstinence from here on out will help to quell the bad talk going on and soon this should become forgotten about.

I think, as teens, many folks have times that they are not proud of. But like I said, it's all a learning experience I hope that you will not put yourself down for this and find a place of understanding


sabby

thanks everyone for the advice - ill try.
i just feel so disapointed in myself. to basically do with a friend what i refused to do with a boyfriend... i just feel sick thinking about it. i'll try to avoid him as well, 'cause its getting awkward.. and i'll just have to be strong
thanks guyys =]
L
x.

If anyone asks about it, just say you both were rough-housing on the bed, no big deal. And deny anything else.

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bananasarecool said:

i just feel so disapointed in myself.

i'll try to avoid him as well and i'll just have to be strong

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Hi Bananasarecool....welcome to PC and yep they are cool and actually more than cool,,they are the perfect food,,you could live on them and water......Ah..sorry,,,went into trivia mode...LOL

Please don't feel too bad,,,mistakes are what allow us to feel compassion and build heart and character. Literally everything endures the rigors of existence...is changed by it,,,and moves forward..

You are learning about your world and how you fit it...and how to build and enforce boundaries which will over time...define you. All is well...

And the greatest strength you could display is to look your friend in the eye,,,explain that what occured was a mistake and that you would like your friendship to continue...Try not to start dealing with conflict by running...it becomes a lifelong mechanism that won't serve you well...

IMHO.

Lenny