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Rcar13
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 06:22 AM
  #1
Background: the reoccurring dream I have had the same underlying Story line where I am back playing high school football again. I attend one of the largest high schools in my state and we were know for football. I love football to this day and miss playing it. I suffered a few injuries but after awhile I believe I got in my head and feared failure and what people would think of that failure. Due to that, I limited myself with prolonged healing time and was scared of not being the best. Since I did go to a large school it seemed like my coaches cast me aside after I was injured. From this I started to forcing on track & field because I was a captain and wanted to be the best I could be. This was also limited to a degree with me being stuck in my head.

I went on to run track & field in college at a D2 level then tried my hand at D1AA after transferring colleges. I was obsessed with getting a scholarship and competing in the NCAA In high school. I achieved this but never had the opportunity to play football at a high level.

This is where I keep having the reoccurring dream, where I am back playing high school football. Either practice, a game, or picture day and some loop hole on how I can still play in high school when I am 24.

From this I have looked into adult football leagues and even rugby leagues but I love to compete, and compete at a high-level with the best. Most of these adult football leagues seem like un athletic men. I don’t like being a large fish in a small pond and that’s the sole reason I transferred up to compete at a high-leveler in college for track.

I am still in decent shape and have been working out again for my metal health but this dream is hunting me and after a couple years of it, I want to get a better understanding of it and the next best actions I can take.
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Default Oct 14, 2019 at 01:45 AM
  #2
@Rcar13

When you are having these recurrent dreams, what are you feeling? Do you feel somewhat anxious? Do you feel sad? Do you feel different emotions for each dream, even though the dreams are similar?

Whatever your feelings are in the dreams, that is what your feelings are today concerning your desire to be the best you can be (e.g., self-actualize, competition with yourself to improve, etc.), to be respected and accepted by others (especially coaches who can see potential, etc., which sounds like what you miss), to participate in the sport you really enjoyed initially - football (even though you are considering other options).

It also sounds like you are grieving over the losses encountered after getting injured, such as your position on the football team, your confidence, your reputation with the coach and your teammates, and your top-star position(s). It sounds like you are now adjusting to your new limitations, or are fearful of getting injured again. I've not participated in sports, as I'm a female, but I am a veteran who has injuries and can never run again. I've had some of the dreams you mentioned, and even recurrent, especially around your age when the world is "skies the limit" for you! You are 24, and you have a whole world ahead of you to explore many options in sports. If you have healed completely but are simply afraid of getting injured again, that's a valid concern, but one that should not limit you to trying again and again, until you overcome your fear of injury. Injuries happen over and over again, but professional sports players take time to heal, get sports psychologists to help, and then go back out there again. If, however, you find that you are now limited in areas you weren't limited before, then you can process those things with a therapist while also looking into similar but different dreams in other kinds of sports.

As far as being the best, there are all sorts of different players on a team, and one need not be a captain or a star player to make the team and to fulfill one's dreams. Being the best is a good goal to have to compete, but trying your best is what really matters. There are some who try their best and cannot make the cut on the team, and there are some who try their best and make the team (which is something to be really proud of). If you were the best and now are not, I can see how that identity and reputational loss (and even potential career loss) are things to grieve over for a short while, or things to process while you are reinventing you.

One of my favorite "girly" shows is "Nadia" - an 80's film about a Romanian gymnast who had injuries, weight gain, and other issues. She wanted to be the best, too. The adaptation of her life story coupled with a documentary on Nadia Elena Comăneci speaks to her desire to maximize her potentials. There is nothing wrong with that. When she found that her life was limited, she made adjustments. Perhaps there are other stories similar to hers that you can watch, which might inspire you. Perhaps there are support groups for sports players of sorts. Perhaps there are mentors who can coach you, train you, or just offer you professional guidance/development. Perhaps you can do all of the above.

I hope these suggestions help!
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Default Oct 14, 2019 at 04:39 PM
  #3
@lillib

I believe it would be good to have those teammates again and find the love of the game again. I think I just needed to get across that roadblock and not to focus on the competitive side too much.

I want to say thank you for your service. My father was in the Marines and broke his back when he was 19. He always told me to go with my gut, never be upset about the decision you made because at the time in life that is what you wanted. I believe this is why I should take the leap and look for another activity or sport or adult football league. Truly reinvent myself and like my dad also said, everyone has to reinvent themselves multiple times throughout life’s different phases.

This past June I got two epidural shots to prolong surgery in the next couple years. I believe you are absolutely right and I have to find my new limitations and adapt/focus on my strength. Also, I will be sure to look into “Nadia“ because funny enough my mom was a gymnast.

I truly want to say thank you for your reply lillib! I really appreciate it and hope you have a wonderful day!
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Default Oct 14, 2019 at 11:31 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by Rcar13 View Post
@lillib

I believe it would be good to have those teammates again and find the love of the game again. I think I just needed to get across that roadblock and not to focus on the competitive side too much.

I want to say thank you for your service. My father was in the Marines and broke his back when he was 19. He always told me to go with my gut, never be upset about the decision you made because at the time in life that is what you wanted. I believe this is why I should take the leap and look for another activity or sport or adult football league. Truly reinvent myself and like my dad also said, everyone has to reinvent themselves multiple times throughout life’s different phases.

This past June I got two epidural shots to prolong surgery in the next couple years. I believe you are absolutely right and I have to find my new limitations and adapt/focus on my strength. Also, I will be sure to look into “Nadia“ because funny enough my mom was a gymnast.

I truly want to say thank you for your reply lillib! I really appreciate it and hope you have a wonderful day!
@Rcar13

The Nadia movie can be rented here on YouTube: YouTube

Otherwise, you can find it at other sites like Amazon.

Please, tell your dad, Semper Fi for me. And thank him for his service as well! I'm so sorry he got injured. That must have been a tough transition. But he is is right, we make many transitions throughout life!!

Your dad sounds wise! It's funny how this is such a small world! I'm sure your mom has heard of Nadia since she was a gymnast. That is too cool! I was never a gymnast, but I loved watching it! I may watch Nadia again tonight, for inspiration.

I'm glad you are taking steps to reinvent yourself. That is positive and healthy! Kudos to you for being strong in that area, and wise enough to ask for help and support!

You might want to see if your treatment team can work together, say a sports medicine doctor, a sports psychologist, and other doctors and attendants. Communication between treatment teams can help speed your recovery, or make your recovery more successful than finding compartmentalized help for your injuries, etc.

You definitely have the mindset of an athlete, which will help you in every area of your life! Keep us posted on your progress, any struggles, and successes! It would be great to know that you made it to the pros or on a college team of some sort, or you made it in some other field that you discovered along your journey of exploration.

Nadia might be a good movie to watch with your family, especially if they are Gen Xrs or Boomers. If they are younger than me (I'm 45 y/o), they might still appreciate the movie along with you. I'm a girly girl sometimes, so the movie was great for me, but I'm not exactly sure if guys would be interested in watching it. Still, it might be something you all can enjoy together.

There are football movies, too, that are inspirational. Some are sad though.

And then there's that one movie called "Seabiscuit." I loved that movie because it was about a jockey (I think the sport is called) who got injured but rode. Both the horse and the jockey were injured at some points in their lives, and both were so upset. Their personalities kind of matched each other's. LOL. That's another good family movie to watch.

Do keep us posted! I'm glad some of my suggestions helped, along with your dad's.
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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 07:22 AM
  #5
Perfect, thank you and I will absolutely tell him that 😊 He will love that!

I did see a couple sports medicine doctors and one sports psychologist but that was all during my early college years and might be a good idea to look into them again. Unfortunately and probably for the best my college athlete days are past me. Now I can work on closing that door and moving on to the next step!

I want to say thank you again for everything and all your support in this manner! I will more definitely look into Nadia, I’m sure my mom knows the movie and again funny enough, I remember watching Seabiscuit with my parents and sisters growing up – good movie!

Thank you again Lillib!! I truly appreciate it and believe this and talking with my dad is just what I needed!
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