advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 09, 2020 at 12:14 PM
  #1
Good lord. My brain is so cliché.

This morning I dreamt that I lived in a glass dome house under surveillance for mental health reasons. It was located on a plush 10 acres of beautiful countryside and about 1/2 mile from the mental hospital.

cliché #1: "Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones."

While living in this glass dome house as a "patient" or prisoner, I had some freedom. Like, I had my old car that I could drive up to the mental hospital for meals, showers, or use the bathroom; since my glass dome did not come with a bathroom or kitchen.

And, the road to the mental hospital was narrow and while driving to it, my brakes failed and I had to find a way to stop the car. So, I put it in neutral and coasted until I was able to gently crash it into a row of bushes at about 10 mph. The staff came out and took me back to my glass dome house and left my car there. They claimed they would repair the brakes, but I didn't believe them. I didn't like being taken away from my car.

cliché #2: driving your own car means you are self reliant and ready for any challenges that come along.

cliché #3: when car brakes fail in a dream, it symbolizes feeling powerless, or having a lack of control over the direction of your life.

Then, when I was taken back to the glass dome house (not even a house since it was just a large room with furniture and no food, or bathroom, or tv or cellphone coverage), my recently deceased cat was there, as was my family's last dog (deceased now for over ten years). They both escaped through one of the glass dome's open windows and ran out into the nearby road. I went after both of them to try to rescue them, but I failed. They both were hit by passing cars and died.

Then, some random guy shows up, brought by the mental hospital staff and I'm told he is going to be my roommate. Only, he has selective mutism (this is my brain creating all of this) and refuses to talk to me, especially when I try to set boundaries with him about how we are going to share this glass dome space.

Then I woke up from the dream.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist

advertisement
Thunder Bow
Elder
 
Thunder Bow's Avatar
Thunder Bow is a Medicine Man
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,630
10 yr Member
3 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 09, 2020 at 12:47 PM
  #2
I will call your "cliché " insights. Don't belittle yourself. Seems you are still dependent on others in your life, and you not getting what you want from them. You feel you can not escape from this situation. You do feel controlled. You feel afraid to move out on your own.

__________________
My subconscious is so cliche with dream symbols

www.lightningthunderbow.com
Thunder Bow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 09, 2020 at 01:12 PM
  #3
Hi @Thunder Bow. Thanks for your response! Ok, I am just embarrassed that my brain makes such cliché connections. Does that mean I'm really simple minded?

Ok, those clichés are definitely insights. Yes, I am dependent on others still in my life. Caregiving for my mother for a year completely threw my life into chaos; no job, no income, no stable shelter after transitioning her to a nursing home this summer. I'm definitely not getting what I want from my current roommate who hides in her bedroom 5+ months with me as her roommate (and going on 5+ years for the rest of her family and friends). I do feel like a prisoner of my circumstances; I do feel like I am being controlled by others (career counselor of the dislocated workers program is supposed to help me find a job), the career workforce solutions centers (I have to take classes there to maintain my unemployment benefits until the middle of May when the funds will be depleted and not renewed by the gov't), and my grad school professor who lowballed my course grade, thus ending my participation in my grad school program (no financial aid is available when you can't pass your courses).

I am afraid to move out on my own because I literally can't do that. I have no savings and no income. Just unemployment. So, moving out on my own is not a viable option for me right now, unless I want to sleep in a bed in a shelter when one is available.

I wonder why I dreamt about it, if I already am aware of the constraints and restrictions preventing me from renting my own place. No job = no income. No income = no ability to pay rent.

Like, this week I paid auto insurance so that leaves me $70 until my next UI deposit. Then next week, my cellphone bill is auto-deducted so that will leave me $50 to use for 7 days until my next UI deposit. Then after that week, I have a car payment, which is more than my weekly UI amount.

And I have a BA and MA yet I can't find a full-time job, have no savings, or job prospects other than an internship (non-paid) that I interviewed for today that is 3 months long.

I had no idea that caregiving for my dementia-laiden mother would literally derail my life the way that it has. It really stinks. I mean, I'm not the only adult child whose life got derailed while caregiving for their elderly parent.

I belong to another forum where all day long, other adults my age or older, lament online about how ****ed up their lives became so that they could care for their ageing parent who had a stroke or heart attack on top of having dementia; how they struggle to live because of the lack of resources available to them (jobs, savings, social network). It's almost as if, if you choose to take care of your ageing parent, you are essentially agreeing to derail your own life if you don't have safety nets (financials, place to live) in place. And, I made assumptions that didn't pan out about those two things (financials, and a place to live).

Ugh. Dreams.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thunder Bow
Elder
 
Thunder Bow's Avatar
Thunder Bow is a Medicine Man
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,630
10 yr Member
3 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 10, 2020 at 01:10 PM
  #4
You are anything but simple minded. You are college educated and smart. I cared for and provided live in assisted living for my Father in the 90s. I feel proud about that, and you too, should feel proud about taking care of your mother. You got more resources than you know. You got a good resume' and you will win your battles. Stop whining and be a proud warrior!!

__________________
My subconscious is so cliche with dream symbols

www.lightningthunderbow.com
Thunder Bow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 10, 2020 at 04:22 PM
  #5
I am sorry you are dealing with all this crap. It's alot. But you're super-smart, Blanche, and you will land on your feet. Not prying here, but, do you need to maybe look in a larger metro area for a job? Would that open up more opportunities, do you think?

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 10, 2020 at 09:33 PM
  #6
@Thunder Bow well I don't think I was whining. I think I am frustrated by my situation and my dream definitely reflects that.

@bpcyclist If I could move to a larger city than the city I live in (which has 3 million people) and have a place to stay while I looked for work that would be ideal. But, I don't even have the savings to move. I already tried living in Chicago and worked a job there that ended when the office closed down. The problem with large cities like Chicago or New York or San Francisco is the cost of living is outrageously high. I don't know if moving would open me up to more opportunities only because I can't change my work history on my resume. Those mistakes will follow me no matter where I'd move to. If that makes sense. So, that's where the core of my frustration comes from -- past employment mistakes.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:44 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.