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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
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#1
Since this rift, which led to his abandonment, happened with my son, I wake up with it on my mind. For the past couple months, I’ve been waking in the middle of the night with this panic. I think, “Did this really happen? I wish it was only a bad dream and didn’t really happen.” But it happened.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
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#2
You are processing or perhaps figuring more out about why it all happened. You will always be connected with him in some way but it is just time to accept that you need this time apart from him to process it. I hope that eventually everyone understands their part in the drama and forgives themselves and each other. Hugs.
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
given |
#3
I know what happened, have spend countless time figuring it out. He was completely impressionable to his new influencers and simply turned on us. The reality is so traumatic, I keep thinking it couldn’t be real when I open my eyes, only to remember it is a living nightmare.
I know you have had similar issues with your son. It’s so strange how we both first had husband issues, then son issues. You must feel similar shock that it can’t be happening, but it is. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
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#4
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I will continue to pray for you and your family. |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
given |
#5
Quote:
With my son there were no issues. Then his college friends convinced him that he needed to stand up to his overbearing parents ( which was not true) and be independent ( which really he was led to be just like them) and I am sure the true motive was to alienate him for their control of him. He bit hook, line, and sinker. So there is something wrong with him and with us as parents. Why wouldn’t he have said “My parents are great. I won’t hurt them”? The dream I just had about him, he reluctantly spoke to me as I begged for answers. He said it was my problem relationship with my husband that made him hate us. Thus it was possibly a MI that got me hated, rather than helped by my family. Once awake, I still don’t think that was valid justification. My mother was much worse and treated me abusively giving me the silent treatment and disowning me, and I never went estranged. The most I just didn’t call her lately was for a month when she disowned me for accusing me of saying awful things I never said and insisting I did and badmouthing me to the rest of the family. I never did anything but act with love and respect to my son. I still hold out hope while accepting reality. I’m having too hard a time getting past this. I guess a psychiatrist and more meds is in order. How does one get over their son who they thought they had a great relationship with doesn’t love them and turned on them? Please no ‘helpful’ comments criticizing me here, folks. I don’t need to get accused of having victim mentality. I’m not even saying I am a victim. More just a victim of circumstances. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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