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Old 08-05-2018, 06:50 AM   #1
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amicus_curiae Me. As an undergrad. Not a good likeness. But me, nonetheless.
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Default Crap. I started smoking again.

Long story short:

I canít recall the year that I stopped smoking ó I just stopped: No method to the madness.

I have agoraphobia, or had agoraphobia, until this week. Now Iím spending hours and hours and hours outside of my apartment: Little method in the madness.

Many of my neighbors who sit outside, under our ridiculously large portico, smoke. I bummed a cigarette on my first day out. Then bummed more.

I bought a pack to repay those from whom Iíd bummed.

Like an idiot, I kept what remained in the pack and Iíve smoked 2-3 per day for four days. I awoke this morning and, before my shower, smoked another.


I have neuropathy in my hands and no feeling. I have severe arthritis in my hands. I cannot hold on to a cigarette. They fall from my fingers 7-8 times when I smoke and I refuse all help and bend my legless body to pick the fallen cig from the concrete.

I have. No. Business. Smoking. The habit was responsible for the deathly physical illnesses that I know enjoy.

But I am so delighted ó so bloody HAPPY ó to be outside, again, and if itís among smokers, so be it. I think that I may equate smoking with happiness. Several of my neighbors, those who knew me previously to my hermithood, are aghast.

Iím confused about what I should (try to) do.

Any suggestions?

Contrarian, esq.

Someone must be right; it may as well be me.

I used to be smart but now Iím just stupid.
óDonnie Smithó
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Old 08-26-2018, 04:36 AM   #2
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Default Re: Crap. I started smoking again.

well there's cold turkey just quit but that's going to be rather hard being surrounded by smokers.

There are e-cigs and vaping. I know a lot of people that have had success quitting cigarettes with these.

There are patches and pills like Chantix.

So I guess it's a matter of what feels right to you. By the way congrats on being able to go out now
I like that you're broken broken like me. Maybe that makes me a fool. I like that you're lonely lonely like me. I could be lonely with you ---lovelytheband
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