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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
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#21
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feeshee, Sunflower123
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CANDC
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#22
I have less anxiety online. I have some anxiety when I post. I feel nervous about saying and especially replying to others for fears of being judged for saying the wrong words.
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Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
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#23
That's good the part about less anxiety that is. You know people are different everywhere but I've found that I worry about saying the wrong thing a lot more than other people actually get offended...I do it in my post here too but the more I post the more comfy I feel. It's like desensitization or something.
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Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,551
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#24
I've never been diagnosed with social anxiety, but I'm sure I have it. I can relate to a lot of the experiences in this thread. I'm an introvert who has never really been able to form a lot of friendships even on PC. In school I was severely bullied. It was during this time, I became very aware, that I was different. To minimize the teasing I withdrew and kept to myself. This seemed to have caused me to become awkward and anxious during any social interaction outside of my family. I would panic, when I had nothing to add to a conversation. Usually I just ended up being the quiet one. No one wanted to befriend me because of that. They all claimed I was boring.
My reserved nature seems to bother people, especially the extroverted variety. I often relive social situations and criticize myself for things, I have said and done. Sometimes I can't sleep. It has gotten to the point, where I don't volunteer any information and keep all social interaction to a minimum. Now, I mostly keep to myself. I like being alone a lot. It is comforting. This is eroding my self-esteem. Even though I enjoy being alone, I want a few close friends, that I can share life with. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Anonymous59786, feeshee, Sometimes psychotic, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,551
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#25
I even worry about my posts. Nobody seems to reply to them, so I don't post what is really bothering me, except for now.
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feeshee, Sometimes psychotic, Sunflower123
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CANDC
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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#26
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Sunflower123
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Angelique67, CANDC, The_little_didgee
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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10 22.8k hugs
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#27
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Sorry that things aren't exactly how you want.... __________________ Hugs! |
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Sunflower123
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CANDC
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#28
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I was bullied terribly at school and was told that I am ugly, I actually believe that I am too.. Even by my sister I was bullied, All my life I have been bullied. I get so nervous around people, I hate socialising, I just feel so uncomfortable. I don't think I wouldn't know how to handle having friends. I avoid going out and only go if I have to. My youngest daughter is the same and I blame myself for the way she is. When she was bullied at school, I felt so much hatred towards the bullies that I did confront them and I am ashamed to say that I felt like smacking them, I felt like the school ignored my complaints about the bullying. I am older now and still feel hatred towards the bullies, I hate that my life is so limited to what I do. I even get anxious going the shops and try to avoid them given every possibility. |
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CANDC, feeshee, Sometimes psychotic, Sunflower123
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CANDC, The_little_didgee
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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#29
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I am almost asleep but I really can relate to social anxiety and not feeling people understand me. I read your post and I do care. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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feeshee, Sunflower123
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The_little_didgee
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: Chicago
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#30
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feeshee, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,551
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#31
Quote:
It isn't your fault. Sometimes Psychotic is right about anxiety. There is definitely a genetic component to it. I see it in two generations of my family. Bullying is solely the fault of the perpetrator. Quote:
Bullying has shaped me and influenced how I interact with others. I don't trust people until they prove themselves. I'm also cautious around them all to lessen the chance of getting bullied. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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feeshee, Sunflower123
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: new england, us
Posts: 15
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#32
I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I couldn't speak at all in school. I was very chatty with my parents, but I was completely mute at school (my teachers didnt even realize I could talk at first). My therapist now says I would have been diagnosed with selective mutism if I saw a psychiatrist at that time.
Starting around age 5 I would have panic attacks at school that were so severe, I would pass out. Throughout my childhood I saw so many doctors and cardiology/neurology specialists trying to determine the source of my 'episodes' (now known to be panic attacks), so my social anxiety was compounded by hypochondria and the constant fear that my heart was going to explode. I also felt like a weird, sick kid with all my doctors appointments and would get so embarrassed when I was dizzy or passed out in front of the other kids. I would be afraid of having an episode, which would make an episode more likely to happen (I'm sure people with panic attacks are familiar with this feedback loop). I continued to not have treatment for my social anxiety, and was so afraid of speaking I had very few friends and always received poor class participation marks. School was always a major social anxiety trigger as I hated being around so many other people. My mom thought she was helping my 'shyness' by forcing me into so many extracurricular activities (soccer, tennis, theater, piano, church groups, community service clubs.. when i was older, working at jobs that had high social interaction requirements) and I remember my childhood just a big ball of anxiety. I picked up some maladaptive coping behaviors to deal with the anxiety. I was a huge daydreamer - while the other kids talked to eachother I would sit alone and escape into fantasy worlds in my brain. I also started self injurying around 7 years old. When I was in my late teens I developed an eating disorder. As I've gotten older (I am now well into adulthood), I'm more in charge of my lifestyle and don't have to force myself into social situations. I don't have many friends and I long for more social contact, but it's difficult. I tend to cycle through phases, so some times I am better than other times. The idea of going to a social gathering makes me feel sick (when I get very overwhelmed sometimes I literally get sick and have to throw up). I think being an adult I feel more functional because I'm less anxious more of the time - but really I've just managed my schedule in a way that I'm incredibly avoidant of any kind of social trigger. I'm a graduate student now and mostly work independently on my research, which is nice. My major triggers now are when I have to give presentations at meetings or for my committee. |
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feeshee, Sometimes psychotic, Sunflower123, zapatoes
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Member
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#33
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Sunflower123
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Sometimes psychotic
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: wildwood
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#34
i have this issue as well,i tryed the breathing techniques,but it isnt working very well for me.
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feeshee, Sometimes psychotic, Sunflower123
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: Lakewood, Ohio
Posts: 4
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#35
Anxiety has taken over my life.... I am 38 and have ZERO friends, NO spouse, NO children, NOTHING.... Not exactly where I saw my self being. This anxiety stems from many many many years of abuse, from father to boyfriend, verbal emotional and physical. I don't like anything about myself and I feel that others don't as well. I even tend to only see family when I have to. I don't like talking on phone I would rather text, it seems like I can get out what I want to say better by writing than by talking. My mind moves way faster than my mouth but I can type fast and seem to keep up. The strange part of my life is this. I work as a pit boss in a casino and I HAVE to be around and talk to people for 8 hours or more, and I have no problem whats so ever. I enjoy my job very much and I think its because these people don't know me, they don't know what Ive been through, they don't know how I feel about myself when I look in a mirror. Its like I am a completely different person, At work I am confident and outgoing I smile and laugh unless it is slow. When it gets slow my thoughts creep back in and I get really quiet. I am at a point where I think I need to talk to someone but I don't know where to start. I currently have a psychiatrist who only fills me with meds. They even diagnosed me with Bipolar I or bipolar depression but I don't feel that is whats going on. Am I depressed, yes 100%, my life sucks. I have also had a very rough life that I don't know how to let go of and move on. I have had no guidance just me winging it. That is not obviously working. from the time I was little I was bullied at school, I have a very abusive father and followed suit in boyfriends. I feel I don't know how to be happy, or what it is supposed to feel like. I have so much built up anger and maybe I need some anger management on top of therapy. So if you are a person that knows me personally, I probably will not attend anything I am invited to unless it is a life changing event.. I really don't want to be that person any more, I want my life back...... Please help???
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feeshee, Sometimes psychotic, Sunflower123, zapatoes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
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#36
I have social anxiety because of the trauma I've suffered at others hands: severe bullying, severe physical abuse and emotional abuse. I'm very shy, a loner and an introvert. I, too, hate crowds and am ill at ease around folks other then my family and close friends. I'm just not willing to open up and get hurt again. I am in therapy so maybe someday.
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feeshee, Sometimes psychotic
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feeshee
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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10 22.8k hugs
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#37
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
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#38
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Sometimes psychotic
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Europe
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#39
Another one with social anxiety here, among others diagnosis.
Socialy anxious since early childhood, since ever. Worsened at my early teenage years and after that no friends anymore. Being very inhibited is terrible for professional life. I restrain myself from choosing this or that path. I feel so recluded from the world. There's an all world, experiences and knowledge that I don't have nor can I do. |
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feeshee
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Turkey
Posts: 3
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#40
i will share a more in depth story when im available but shortly as of now,
i was feeling great since i started using meds. better than ive ever felt before. but now i am starting to feel miserable and i am so much used to feeling well now that i am not accepting this. ever. i know i need help and i know i cant tell anyone and i know there are only a few things i can do. i can accept my path as a genetic alcoholic, i can start being anxious every second of the day again or... help. i cant figure out a third option. |
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