Social Anxiety: share your story.

Well yea. It's... anxiety and I just have it. It's like fear of stuff or just feeling annoyed, IDK. Being in college in computer science where people are just so loud annoys me. Don't know if related.

My social anxiety can get so bad that I put off work activities and jeopardize my job because of it.

I've just recently admitted to myself that I suffer from social anxiety...well, actually I had admitted it to myself, I just didn't want to mention it to anyone else.

The crazy thing is that I actually like being around people. I draw energy from being around other people. I just suffer such anxiety from having to interact and being afraid of rejection and criticism and judgment that I will avoid social situations at all costs.

I have recently admitted to myself that my maladaptive avoidance coping behaviors have been causing a lot of harm to my life. I'm trying to work on changing them so I can finally start having the life I want.

Seesaw

I have social anxiety mainly because I always feel embarrassed when I’m out in public. This is because my parents are very overprotective of me so they make me wear a lot of heavy winter clothing. I’m always the most bundled up person so it makes me stand out so much, especially at school. So I just get nervous and start sweating, then I swear even more because I get hot wearing so many layers.

I despise social anxiety. I want to beat it, but at the moment it is beating me. I just want to be care free and not care what others think. Work is painful but I hope it will get better.

Thanks for starting this thread! I feel like I can get this off my chest somewhere

I am not diagnosed as I am too embarrassed to go to the doctor's, but I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from social anxiety. It started a few years ago really with some kind of identity crisis. Ive always been a people pleaser, but I ended up in a situation where I felt I didn't fit in anywhere. I was absolutely desperate to be loved and so went above and beyond to try and be a person I thought the people I wanted to impress wanted me to be. It obviously didn't work and gradually I lost all sense of who I really was due to putting on these masks. It started to really bother me. I felt self conscious all the time and over analysed every single interaction, wondering how I'd performed and how I'd come across, all the while feeling frustrated that I wasn't really showing the real me and cared too much what others thought.

I think it comes from a lack of self esteem. Deep down I know I'm not a bad person. I wouldn't hurt a fly! I would never intentionally hurt someone. I just think I am not interesting enough to most people to be liked. I have different interests etc. I also have some concerns over aspects of my personality which have been criticised by family in the past (being overly sensitive) as well as having my weight critiqued a lot, and made to feel bad if I have a treat. It's kind of chipped away at my self esteem and I just never feel good/interesting enough. It's horrible. I'm also petrified of saying the wrong thing and accidentally offending someone.

Everyday I turn up to work or a social event and wonder who to be? How should I act today? It is such hard work . I wish so much I could just be me, but how do you do that when you don't know who "me" is?

I try to copy personalities of people I admire or know who are well liked, but obviously I can't do that which makes me even more frustrated, and dislike myself even more because I can't be like them. I end up "overdoing it" or trying too hard. I really don't want to spend my entire life worrying about this, but I have no idea how to solve it.

I'm on anxiety meds for OCD, but they don't touch the social anxiety. I just want to live and be happy and care less what others think. I don't know if anyone can relate !! I guess it would be good to know I'm not alone.

Phew feels good to get that off my chest though!

I get real nervous around people especially when they stare at me. I can feel flush my heart began to face really fast. Sometime my ears ring. I become real shaky and I start trembling. I can't seem to hang on to anything and become real clumsy. Sometime I start studdering when I try to talk. Sometime I can't even speak. I try to my voice goes out.

I think my social anxiety causes me to shut down. I always go to work and I always get things done.

I just worry I have gunk in my ears when people stare at me when I’m standing next to them. I can see them staring out of the corner of my eyes.

I also worry I smell and that it’s noticeable.

I don’t talk much.

It’s an all all time high as I’m at a work meeting and am fighting the thoughts and beliefs that everyone hates me, everyone is mad at me, everyone is judging me. Every time I speak my critical voice says “stop talking you are embarrassing yourself,” you sound stupid, and oh my god the anxiety of having to get up from our seats and move into another room, and lunch time - finding a place to sit and trying to follow the conversations and feeling very self consciousnes when being looked at. I’ve realized that when my social anxiety peaks I interpret everyone’s experiences exchange with me as being an attack so I always respond defensively and keep my distance, driving people away and I have been hypomanic while here as well so then I become more convinced by these thoughts and more aggressive so I start creating enemies by this point. All of it is very subtle because I’m suppressing this kettle and it lets out but I’m trying to be nice despite the underlying anger and so I come off as highly passive aggressive. Or I am just thinking so, because of the social anxiety. At least it has not reached the point of paranoia yet where I start hearing people talking about me and my name being muttered throughout the room. The lithium is keeping a cap on it am I’m feeling like I’m able to separate my thoughts from reality at times... more clearly than before.

For a long time now I have "self-diagnosed" as having Aspergers Syndrome. I just NEED to be alone all the time. And when, for example, there is a must-go family event, I am not happy. I obsess about the upcoming event for days. I don't know, when I am obsessing, my mind thinks that I have to be perfect at this event - don't let people know how socially inept I am, make them like me, come away from the event like a had done a good performance, etc. Yet I am aware that social contact is good for me. I see plenty of people at work and I must interact with them. But I always am feeling there that they are judging me. Like their sole purpose for being there is to pass judgement on ME. How egocentric is that? I don't know. But when I leave work, and I know that solitude is coming up, I feel like i can be ME again. Until the next time. Maybe it's like I feel like I am an infant in these situations. A newborn depends 100% on others for survival. An an infant at social situations, I am in terror that I may not survive. It's like others don't know that I am actually an infant. So they don't show concern for me. And I freak out. Sorry for the psychoanalysis, just thinking. OK, thanks for listening.

Lately I’ve just been worrying that I’m saying the wrong thing. Or that I said something wrong. At work I asked the manager who else was working. I thought he gave me a sort of unfriendly look. I’m not good at reading facial expressions at all. Plus I think he might have a tic. But I just asked because my shift got switched and I was just curious who else was working those hours.

Yes have social anxiety. Meeting new people especially such at a new job or when I was new at school when moved every few years was horrible with anxiety. Has anyone met someone new in taxing or stressful situation and a wave of panic comes over you and you are almost shaking. It’s not reasonable or logical and why does it happen. People do notice and will comment later on in a few weeks you look terrified when you first met us.

Would recommend asking a therapist about a support group for social anxiety and taking small steps towards making friends.