Social Anxiety: share your story.

Social anxiety has been a big problem for me all my life. Crowds and big groups have never been really comfortable. Fortunately I have found ways around it, but it still can be troublesome.

Thanks to Psych Central I have found ways of skirting my social anxieties by talking to people online.

I am interested to hear your story too.

Well... I don't know if I have social anxiety. Perhaps I do. I take our dog out for long walks in the neighborhood every day. But I've always hated crowds. Years ago when I would be out in public, for example at a shopping mall, I'd become increasingly uncomfortable sometimes to the point where I would begin to feel dizzy & disoriented if I remained in the situation long enough. I always just kept what was going on with me to myself & toughed it out. And I'd have to say this has gotten better as I've gotten older. However, I still avoid any kind of crowd... like the plague! And I pretty-much just keep to myself in general. I seldom go anywhere unless it's necessary. I've also always been extremely glossophobic. Thankfully I no longer have occasion to do any public speaking! But in general I'd have to say that, at this point in my life, I don't not go out due to anxiety. I just really have no use for people in general in real life & I prefer to keep my own company...

If this tells you anything, it took me 20 minutes of procrastinating before I could type into this box.

Hi,
My experience with social anxiety is crippling my life. I have severe anxiety, panic disorder, agoraphobia, bipolar, chronic depression, and sleep disorders. I used to be a normal functioning person who worked from the time I was in high school until my last job at 36. I am now 45, and I stay in my home unless it is absolutely necessary I have to go out. When I do have an appointment or something, my husband has to go with me and drive. It is difficult for me to drive anymore without being overcome with anxiety and almost having a panic attack. My husband does all the errands that require being in public after he gets off work, like going to the grocery store and picking up my medications. I rarely even go out to see my parents who only live about 100 yards away. I feel really anxious just going out the front of my home to get my daughter off the school bus in the evenings. I can't even think of working or finding a job. I tried to substitute teach and almost had a panic attack when I got a call. So I just avoided all calls and never signed up to sub again. I am on medication for anxiety, bipolar depression, and sleep problems. The meds only get me through the day, but they are not enough to get me out of the house or in public. I dread my appointments so much. I feel so alone. Has anyone ever experienced anxiety this bad?

Hello, I've gone through the same social issues. i currently have no friends outside my family because i feel really afraid to make some and i am in college not getting the full college experience (well community college). Anyway, i just wish i wasn't so afraid, i know i can be a good friend and all but just taking that step to actually speaking to someone is where i struggle. it might be that i'm a little critical of myself and afraid that those i approach might not find me interesting enough to want to actually develop a friendship with me because i can be a little different at times, a mindset i believe my mental issues have contributed to. but yes. that is my social anxiety story. oh, i also am really uncomfortable going out to public places, the whole i think i'm the center of the world thing and everyone is judging me is what makes me feel really uneasy.

Had to quit my job because of panic attacks and social anxiety. Had a traumatic experience due to workplace bullying. I once was a very outgoing, social person. The awful experience changed me. Would like to volunteer but my fear of people prevents it. I've lost trust in the human race. I'm getting help and sisters are supportive. I live alone with my pets. My husband died 24 years ago. Have huge problems in crowds and around people I don't know. Even avoid my neighbors in neighborhood where I have lived almost 50 years. Wish I could be the person I once was. Glad I can express myself on this forum.

I was horribly socially anxious as a child. Even something small, such as passing a paper back, required vast mental preparation and the only reason I could do that was because there was no communication involved. So bothered was I, that I had difficulty turning in my papers. I recall an instance in which a teacher-whom I seemed to particularly annoy for whatever reason-scolded me for taking too long on a worksheet. "You've had plenty of time, why aren't you finished?" I was finished. I had been finished for quite some time. I just couldn't turn in the paper-to walk up to the teacher and say "here you go" was absolutely terrifying. It wasn't until I got my first job at 17 that the anxiety got better, out of necessity, really. I notice my anxiety manifest itself differently now. Instead of being terrified all of the time, I have days where I can socialize, and days where I can't function in public at all. So, the anxiety appears at half the time with twice as much potency.

Hi all! Awesome that we have a new forum. I have a dx of social anxiety along with GAD and bipolar with psychotic features----just one more thing right? Maybe not....when I was in jr high I really wouldn't speak----people my age would say hello and I would just look at them but if a teacher called on me I would answer because I'd get into trouble if I didn't and that would be more talking. I'd like to say I grew out of it but it was more like after a lot of work I improved. I had a guidance counselor who pulled me out of class one day for you guessed it not talking---I thought it was so ironic. Most students get in trouble for talking in class. Anyway he told me I had two choices either to join some activities at the school or to continue to see him periodically. I didn't want to talk so I joined two clubs---I knew they were monitoring me though----perhaps part of this was paranoia but really school officials have a lot of power and can certainly check up on you so I started very slowly talking to people and after a lot of sweating and anxiety I had a few friends. The school left me alone after this but still I never dated until my late 30s so I wasn't totally normal. I got cbt for my psychosis but a lot of it dealt with anxiety because it was hand tailored to me. So I started dating and right now I've been with my current bf for a year----amazingly he is a huge anxiety reducer---going places with people where you won't be the only one talking is awesome----I can talk if I want but don't feel like all the pressure is on me. He is naturally social so it doesn't magnify the pressure like some people do. I still get nervous when I'm in charge of things like if I bought the tickets or whatever but its such a relief and worth working towards. I'm not anxiety free but I don't react with the same levels of stress anymore.

Is it just me but I have like zero issues talking to people online and its always been that way but put a person in front of me and the butterflies start.

My anxiety was never quite that bad but I found cbt therapy to be effective---you still feel the nerves a bit but its easier to push past and my T taught me breathing techniques to deal with the panic attacks---have you tried therapy?

Do you have a roommate in college? I only had one friend in college but I met her because I was in a residential program and we had lots of classes together----I think she just asked me if I wanted to study together once and we've been friends ever since. Maybe you could form a study group after class or ask people if they might want to grab lunch or dinner depending on the time class ends. Do you live in the dorms? I'll admit I usually ate alone but that's also a great time to meet people.

Pets are great what kind do you have?

The worst was when you had to grade other peoples papers I mean really what were the teachers thinking?

I got diagnosed with social anxiety at 17 and i kinda came about when i came out of high school and was having anxiety attacks that were debiltating that made not want to go to English class upgrading after i graduated from high school it brought up all these nightmares i had that because i was bullied from grade 4 to grade 12, by teachers and students alike. My mom always forced me into things and I am introvert through and through to be honest it was like a nightmare i always wanted to go home with her but after awhile after i got used to it but i felt like i was put into a difficult spot it was uncomfortable.

I remember at 18 being kicked out of my own house she said "that I needed to get a job and be a productive part of society!" Yet how could I ?? I was trapped in my own social anxiety scared stiff!!

So I found a job in Alberta and off onto a plane i went with her to Fort McMurray I was scared stiff then the job fell through so I then called someone in Jasper. After I was working for a short while I doubled over and couldn't work due to debilating period cramps. I was taken back to staff accomadation I had some food and took mefanic acid which I had been taking since i was 12...but 11 was when I firstly got my period. Anyway...they fired me on the spot after they asked what I was taking and I showed them the bottle being naive and just really honest i been honest since day one. A cab driver convinced me to stay...I got a job as a dishwasher and stayed 2 1/2 years later...Yet my mom became very manipulative towards me she demanded "that I pay divit ends towards her for all the money that I owed her for feeding me and clothing me through all my years from 0-17." I was shocked how could this person I know and love turn against me of course my social anxiety went through the roof I started to have panic attacks at work and would lock myself into stalls and not come out unless the radio that i wore went off my work suffered. Yet they wouldn't fire me I their only housewoman. I did double shifts some nights/days I didn't know what was night and what was day anymore during the winter months...my mother wanted me to come home for christmases but thats the most busiest time of the year and how would i leave some place i called home for her home a woman who wanted me to bring her expensive gifts when I stopped at her house or saw her there. It was disasterous because I used alcohol at the age of 13 when my dad introduced me to it. so I brought her home some truffles in a jar that were white in wine. they were expensive and the first thing out of her mouth was "how dare you bring me home crap in a bottle?" I looked at her and thought how could I believe this woman to be my mother I locked myself in the bathroom at my parents house and wouldn't come out I cried and cried; attack after attack happened.

I went on a national youth volunteer program here called Katimavik for 9 months @ 21. I pushed myself to do it. My mother would call me everyday asking me what I got up to finally she was interested in what I was doing. my anxiety flared up every time she called it didn't help we were 11 strangers living in house together and she wanted to know what I was upt to and when I said nothing she was like where is my cut...I told her to never to call me again unless it was urgent. Then the next day she would call me...I just stopped answering the phone she didn't understand long distance was expensive on cellphone especially since I was roaming out of alberta with an alberta area code. I made up paper bills and asked her for money to cover the costs of the calls eventually she stopped calling. anyways long story short I was comfortable with my group but each place we landed which was a different province every 3 months I had anixety and would make myself puke before an interview, because it was so bad.

To this day I puke every time i go for an interview its like horrible.

I struggle to get out of the house, I also have a huge issues around people and food because they make us food thats like cross contamination. I get anxiety going to restuarants but i always ask some times if I never been there before if I could get a chefs sample plate because the anxiety is so bad to order something they don't have that i know someone cannot f.ck up. I also can't read people's body lanugage too well so its disturbing to me that someone can go from being mad to completely nutso towards someone.

anyways sorry i droned on...

I hoped this helped with some people's fears...

1 of the issues I have, is that if their's a lot of people say in a room that' actually far away from where I am, it sounds like they are actually just outside, and I can't even step outside my room to do something- even though I know deep down that the next 3/4 rooms are clear.

I don't want to be spotted. so

I used to hate it when my parents had people round to dinner.

I couldn't go to toilet. I couldn't get a drink. I couldn't open a window, I couldn't do anything.

My story is simple: I avoid mingling with people whenever possible. When I cannot, I make fool of myself because I would be obviously anxious and nervous, which is painful and shatters my self-esteem big time. Anxiety is a fundamental part of my flawed character since my childhood. What works for me, I've figured, is to be left alone. Nothing else. That's why I am alone most of the time, and probably I will die alone, which is OK by me. I have come to accept this.

And yet you're here....I know I have less anxiety on line does it work the same way for you?

Yes I guess over time I am more comfortable around people but it takes time to build up trust with each person.

I have less anxiety online.

(I know the question wasn't directed at me, but wanted to respond)

a woman I used to know, vanessa, she had horrible anxiety online

someone would chat to her or someone would reply to a topic she posted too, and she'd just freak out

she'd say to me.. please, make it stop

i'd be like.. it's okay, nessa. you just need to exit the window and it will all go away