[ArcheM]

The thing is that I normally work from home, but to make the office appear full for an audit they want me to come out for 2 days on 19-20. Apart from any other issues, I've previously had panic attacks when I worked at the office at the start... And I hate this job in general, and it seems they don't particularly appreciate me either. But also I've been surviving thus far by being able to listen to stuff on headphones while I work and I suspect I won't be allowed any such luxuries since it's an audit, so it'll be just me and my demons.

It's just 17 hours combined (+6 hours of commute, which might be worse, since I don't know what the public transport conditions are at those hours nowadays), and yet I'm damn terrified... I'm also probably not going to eat at work, because it makes me anxious eating around other people (+ other bodily functions)... Oh, not to mention that I regularly suffer from insomnia and lately haven't been getting up that early anyway, which, I'm sure, will add another layer to this **** sandwich.

So, wish me luck.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Good luck with your awful sandwich! We are cheering you on!

[ArcheM]

Well... It's going to be **** indeed. I've been trying to change my sleep schedule and failing badly. I've been falling asleep around midnight for a couple hours, to then stay awake until around 5, again going to bed, getting up around 7-8 to an alarm clock, having breakfast to try to reset my internal clock, then crashing until noon exhausted. Except today I haven't even been able to fall asleep at midnight. In short, there's no way I'll be functional at the required hours.

On the other hand, I expect that my social anxiety AND awareness will be numbed from being sleep deprived. Or maybe I won't feel sleep deprived because of anxiety.

Well, I'm going to stock up on stimulants, which is probably going to be primarily dark chocolate, unless I see anything better. Gotta get high before I go down.

[ArcheM]

* Double post. That's unfair, PC, when I have anxiety for this kind of thing.

[Sunflower123]

I wish you the best of luck and hope it goes by quickly. Sending big hugs.

[ArcheM]

It's over. It actually went pretty smoothly, at least on the outside. I know that usually the reality is never as bad as your fears (or at least my fears), but it's very hard to take this to heart... Or maybe I'm managing, because I acted in some ways as if nothing really bad could happen, such as leaving before everyone else, although you have to consider the fact that I dread going home alongside almost complete strangers.