advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Carnival Doll
Junior Member
 
Carnival Doll's Avatar
Carnival Doll has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 23
5 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Default Aug 01, 2018 at 02:28 AM
  #1
so, because i find it difficult to converse in person, the majority of my friends are online. i have lots of friends that i talk to on a regular basis, which i should be happy about. however, i cannot shake this underlying fear that all of them secretly hate me and are merely putting up with my presence.

for this reason, i often leave online groups seemingly for no reason. many of my friends in those groups get concerned and message me privately asking if i am doing okay. the majority of those friends still talk to me regularly. you would think this would serve as a sort of comfort. you would think that by now i would believe that they do actually care and want to be my friend. nope. still believe that they are simply doing it as some sort of strange obligation or courtesy.

because of this fear, i rarely message my friends first and i often wait several hours before responding when they try to talk to me. this leads to them thinking that i don't really like them or care to talk to them, and i can sense that. i feel bad, i truly do, but my mindset is this: "i don't actually provide any sort of positivity or usefulness in their life, so whether i talk to them or not does not matter. i can easily be replaced." in that same vein, i believe that if i were to abandon my friends out of the blue and without a word, it wouldn't really affect them that much. that sounds horrible, doesn't it?

i've even confronted some friends about my concerns, and these thoughts still refuse to go away even after they assure me that they do enjoy being my friend.


i just don't know what to do. i love my friends so much, and they are the reason that i am still alive. it's just impossible for me to get as close to them as i'd like.

__________________
diagnosed with:
obsessive compulsive disorder
post-traumatic stress disorder
major depressive disorder
binge eating disorder
unknown dissociative disorder

not medicated, but i probably should be

Carnival Doll is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949, StripedTapir

advertisement
luvyrself
Poohbah
 
luvyrself's Avatar
luvyrself has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
8 yr Member
136 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 01, 2018 at 03:36 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnival Doll View Post
so, because i find it difficult to converse in person, the majority of my friends are online. i have lots of friends that i talk to on a regular basis, which i should be happy about. however, i cannot shake this underlying fear that all of them secretly hate me and are merely putting up with my presence.

for this reason, i often leave online groups seemingly for no reason. many of my friends in those groups get concerned and message me privately asking if i am doing okay. the majority of those friends still talk to me regularly. you would think this would serve as a sort of comfort. you would think that by now i would believe that they do actually care and want to be my friend. nope. still believe that they are simply doing it as some sort of strange obligation or courtesy.

because of this fear, i rarely message my friends first and i often wait several hours before responding when they try to talk to me. this leads to them thinking
that i don't really like them or care to talk to them, and i can sense that. i feel bad, i truly do, but my mindset is this: "i don't actually provide any sort of positivity or usefulness in their life, so whether i talk to them or not does not matter. i can easily be replaced." in that same vein, i believe that if i were to abandon my friends out of the blue and without a word, it wouldn't really affect them that much. that sounds horrible, doesn't it?
i've even confronted some friends about my concerns, and these thoughts still refuse to go away even after they assure me that they do enjoy being my friend.
i just don't know what to do. i love my friends so much, and they are the reason that i am still alive. it's just impossible for me to get as close to them as i'd like.
—-these are issues for a therapist. The t could design a program for you to build yr self esteem in small steps. I need to be more w my therapist about setting specific goals w small increments.
luvyrself is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949
Anonymous43949
Guest
Anonymous43949 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 08, 2019 at 07:38 PM
  #3
If you are talking to your friends on a regular basis, it is highly unlikely that they hate you. If they did, they would distance themselves or avoid you. They would not initiate the contact by messaging you either. I think it would be helpful to work out your fear with a therapist. Sending you hugs (and not out of courtesy but I mean it)!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 09, 2019 at 05:06 AM
  #4
You know how sometimes you can set up an automatic email response when you are on vacation to let the sender know you are out of the office or away? How about coming up with a similar message to copy and paste to your friends when you are struggling?
" Thank you for your message. I struggle with ____sometimes and this is one of those days. I wanted you to know I got your message and appreciate you reaching out. I will respond as soon as I am feeling better"

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
mwaxy
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:21 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.