Fear of saying "No" - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 01-09-2019, 11:10 PM #1
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Default Fear of saying "No"

Why do you fear saying "No" to someone?

For me, the biggest reasons are:

In general, I don't want to be rude.

With people who cry or appear desperate, I get swayed by the emotions of the moment

With relationally-unsafe people, I fear retaliation/ I want to avoid conflict

Last edited by ennie; 01-09-2019 at 11:41 PM. Reason: add
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Old 01-10-2019, 08:03 AM #2
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Default Re: Fear of saying "No"

I don't want people to feel bad for asking

I want to please everyone

I hate letting people down
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Old 01-13-2019, 04:08 AM #3
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Default Re: Fear of saying "No"

I think having trouble saying 'no' has to do a lot with feeling responsible for the other person's feelings or emotions and not wanting them to be upset or disappointed with us. It took me years of therapy and then sobriety to be comfortable saying 'no' and not feeling like I somehow "owed" the other person an explanation. I had to learn that my feelings were equal to the other person's feelings and that protecting myself was a worthy cause.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:23 AM #4
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Default Re: Fear of saying "No"

That's a good question, ennie. I'm usually afraid ot hurt other people's feelings. It's something I'm still learning to deal with, it's not easy, but I believe it can be done. It probably has to do with our own self-esteem as well. Sending many hugs to everyone
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