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Old 03-21-2019, 01:50 AM #1
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Unhappy Atrophied social skills

I'd find myself struggling in almost any kind of interaction with people that wasn't personal. It's almost as if the only language I know is personal conversation, talking about life problems, etc. Everything else is very hit or miss.

It sucks because I miss out on a lot of small talk. Can't crack jokes, can't flirt, can't talk about interests much. I feel very uncultured for some reason, like I just don't know anything about anything. It's insane just how much I struggle trying to say something. I find myself unable to respond or react to what people do sometimes. They'd crack a joke, I don't find it funny, and I just stand there, unsure of what to say without coming off as awkward.

It's gotten to the point where I feel this is something that can only be handled by just flat out analyzing what people say, and repeating it. Almost in a very fake way, just parroting. A lot like learning your sales script for work.

"Hello, hope you found everything well today. Is there anything I can assist you with today?"

Life's literally just a bunch of lines being memorized. Except, for me, it's as if I don't have any of that for anything.

And sure, I've actually gotten by, actively memorizing things I liked from other people. A lot of times where I just regurgitated things people said.

Is this seriously just all life is? This feels so abnormal.

What sucks is, where I stand right now, it feels as if I'm missing so much that sometimes it feels hopeless. Especially when you see others just naturally doing what they do. Talking, enjoying their company, living.

I don't get how I'm able to type these words, these don't feel like scripts. These feel a lot more genuine. At least nowhere near as much as trying to say other things. Certain behaviors, mannerisms that I've learned, those things sometimes don't feel natural at all, because I know where I got them from. They're not me.

Maybe I'm overanalyzing that. But. I just feel so lost in this.

I feel like I'm missing so many pieces from my social skills.
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:35 AM #2
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

Selective mutism?
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Old 03-21-2019, 12:23 PM #3
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

Selective mutism?

I just learned that's a thing and it sounds like what I go through.

It's gotten to the point that I have even considered recording people before, to figure out what things people talk about, so I can practice things to say.
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Old 03-21-2019, 12:25 PM #4
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

It could well be selective mutism. Do you have a therapist or Psychiatrist? My daughter has it and we have just found an app called text to speak to help her communicate.
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Old 03-21-2019, 02:59 PM #5
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lavender. View Post
It could well be selective mutism. Do you have a therapist or Psychiatrist? My daughter has it and we have just found an app called text to speak to help her communicate.
Thank you for replying. I just got a therapist, and he seems pretty cool. But I'm afraid I'll never grow out of this.

The only reason I don't feel it's SM is because mine feels as if it's just knowledge based. I would totally interact with people if I just knew how. But maybe my wanting the knowledge is actually just my anxiety. But I feel as if I just flat out don't know how to respond sometimes. Like, I don't know how to describe this. It's almost like playing tennis, the ball is coming towards you, and you don't know how to hit it back. Or you don't know how to serve the ball.

But it could be my anxiety. But I don't always think "I don't want to say this because it might come out wrong." It usually feels like I just have a blank mind.

You could tell me a joke, and if I don't find it funny, I will stand still, expressionless, absolutely confused about what to say or how to behave because nothing comes to mind.

What bothers me is that I feel like a totally normal person. I shouldn't be going through this. I don't feel abnormal in any way. I am totally aware, conscious, I can see myself. I just flat out don't know what to say or do.
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Old 03-21-2019, 09:40 PM #6
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

After some time, really thinking about it, I do think it's a mixture of not knowing what to say or do, and anxiety. I just realized I have felt anxiety of saying certain things to certain people.

I think my problem is becoming a little bit clearer with that. I couldn't really see myself stopping myself out of anxiety until now, as I thought about it in hindsight. So maybe something conditioned me to have that anxiety.

But I still don't know how to work on it. But it sort of helps knowing that anxiety, confidence issues, really is a part of the problem. It means that the next time I feel that anxiety again, it's because I had a thought that I rejected using, and I can try to make the choice to use it.
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Old 03-22-2019, 05:20 AM #7
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, absolutelybroken I understand what you mean. I'm really happy that you're seeing a therapist! I hope he will be able to help you. Please don't give up hope. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. It won't be easy and it will take time, but it can be done. I'm really hape that you've been able to realize what the problem is. This is something that you may work on with your therapist. Try to hang on. I believe in you! I'm sure you can do this. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, absolutelybroken. Keep fighting! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Please don't give up. I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! You're a strong wonderful person! Try to hang on!

Last edited by MickeyCheeky; 03-22-2019 at 05:33 AM.
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Old 03-22-2019, 05:26 AM #8
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Default Re: Atrophied social skills

I hope the therapist can help you. I feel awkward in social situations sometimes too. I have wondered if I could be on the autism spectrum.
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