advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
TheNightWhistle
Member
 
TheNightWhistle's Avatar
TheNightWhistle Nothing but love to give
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Montreal
Posts: 117
5 yr Member
44 hugs
given
Default Apr 21, 2019 at 11:38 PM
  #1
My biggest fear has to be social media. The only profile I have is Facebook but I'll post something like once a year. Before I post something I get a feeling very similar to stage fright, and then I just abandon the post. The idea that hundreds of people are viewing my posts, and forming opinions about them, and probably talking about them amongst themselves makes me very anxious. This fear is honestly unfounded because every time I post a new photo of myself, I get quite a few likes and "reactions". I just can't help it.

I'm constantly asked by people "Why don't you have Instagram? It's how you can keep up with the latest things! How do you even stay in touch with people?!" I also just read an article that said that potential employers will go on a candidate's Facebook profile to get more information about them, and if they don't even have a profile, they might assume the candidate is some kind of serial killer.

The point is, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I feel like not having Instagram and Facebook profiles makes you a social outcast. On the other hand, I'm so afraid of it.

Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this fear? I haven't really spoken to anybody about it because they'll probably think it's ridiculous.

__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou
TheNightWhistle is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MrsA, Serpentine Leaf
 
Thanks for this!
Rouge0, Serpentine Leaf, Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Apr 22, 2019 at 01:47 PM
  #2
I'm sorry I don't have the answer to this. I personally avoid pretty-much all social media (except for PC, of course.) But, then, I'm old. So it really doesn't matter much in my case. I'm not on Facebook or Instagram or anything like that. I also don't often post my own threads here on PC either. And when I do I always feel a twinge of embarrassment later & wonder why I did it.

You asked about tips for how to overcome your fear of social media. My only thought would be to just dive in & do it... more-&-more. The more time you spend on it, the more comfortable you would (hopefully) become with it. I suppose if you really wanted to focus on this, you could develop some kind of a program where you reward yourself for accomplishing certain pre-set goals in terms of participating on social media. But that may be a bit more involved than you want to get.

Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, that offers tips for moving out of fear & into your life. Perhaps some the suggestions in this article can be of help:

Moving Out of Fear and into Your Life


__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow
Merlin
Magnate
 
Merlin's Avatar
Merlin is holding onto hope and happiness.
 
Member Since: May 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,316
15 yr Member
548 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 24, 2019 at 05:10 PM
  #3
I would be surprised if not having a Facebook account would cost you a job. Many people are off Facebook or have very high privacy settings, including me.

__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
Merlin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow
LadyShadow
Wanderer of Distant Stars
 
LadyShadow's Avatar
LadyShadow Learning to Adapt and Grow in a Changing, Challenging World From Behind the Shadows
 
Member Since: May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 23,952 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
7,644 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 24, 2019 at 05:48 PM
  #4
Although this may seem like NOT the best advice, I would tell you to make a fake profile. You know, make up a name or an alias, (make up something cool like Nick NightWhistle, or something if it will let you, (they recently updated their name filter thing so I don't know if it will work), and have your friends follow it. It will be almost like you're a "personality" under a pen-name. I mean authors and actors do it right?

__________________
Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress:
Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love
LadyShadow is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
TheNightWhistle
Member
 
TheNightWhistle's Avatar
TheNightWhistle Nothing but love to give
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Montreal
Posts: 117
5 yr Member
44 hugs
given
Default Apr 25, 2019 at 09:21 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow View Post
Although this may seem like NOT the best advice, I would tell you to make a fake profile. You know, make up a name or an alias, (make up something cool like Nick NightWhistle, or something if it will let you, (they recently updated their name filter thing so I don't know if it will work), and have your friends follow it. It will be almost like you're a "personality" under a pen-name. I mean authors and actors do it right?
But I'd still be posting pictures of myself, and I'd still be self-conscious about what I post.

__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou
TheNightWhistle is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 25, 2019 at 10:31 AM
  #6
if I can ask, how do you feel about the people that are on your "friends" list seeing the posts/ pictures?

when I first read this, I immediately thought about the facebook privacy settings, that allow you to control who sees what on your feed (the thing with the posts, pictures, what ever) so if you're refering to unknown people, that's an option
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 25, 2019 at 10:34 AM
  #7
if it's friends, what about posting stuff you feel comfortable with?

I remember when I had a facebook profile, (years ago now), I never posted any pictures- because of my body issues mainly, but yes.. also embarrassed about my look

out of the many interactions I had on their, only about 2 people asked me.. so where's the picture?

I don't really think pictures matter.

not if you're using it to get in contact with people
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
TheNightWhistle
Member
 
TheNightWhistle's Avatar
TheNightWhistle Nothing but love to give
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Montreal
Posts: 117
5 yr Member
44 hugs
given
Default Apr 25, 2019 at 11:01 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
if I can ask, how do you feel about the people that are on your "friends" list seeing the posts/ pictures?

when I first read this, I immediately thought about the facebook privacy settings, that allow you to control who sees what on your feed (the thing with the posts, pictures, what ever) so if you're refering to unknown people, that's an option
I've tried making certain things private, and then people come up to me and say things like "Hey I saw that picture of you with pink hair from 10 years ago, pretty in pink" when I definitely set that particular pic to private. So I don't think that the settings always work or maybe I just don't really know how to use them properly.

It's things like this that make me anxious about what people know about me.

__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou
TheNightWhistle is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous32451
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 26, 2019 at 09:32 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNightWhistle View Post
I've tried making certain things private, and then people come up to me and say things like "Hey I saw that picture of you with pink hair from 10 years ago, pretty in pink" when I definitely set that particular pic to private. So I don't think that the settings always work or maybe I just don't really know how to use them properly.

It's things like this that make me anxious about what people know about me.


could you take down what makes you anxious?

just have up their what you feel okay about sharing?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
downandlonely
Legendary
 
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
10.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 26, 2019 at 09:34 AM
  #10
I don't think Facebook is necessary for employment or anything else really. I would advise having a LinkedIn profile though.
downandlonely is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
beeberry
New Member
 
beeberry's Avatar
beeberry has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 4
3 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Default Oct 26, 2019 at 01:21 PM
  #11
I definitely have a lot of anxiety with social media accounts. I also just feel like it’s my natural personality to want more privacy, to only share the kind of thing you post with people actually in my daily life, even tho privacy seems like an outdated need in these times. but i get what you mean! it really feels like deliberately sabatoging my social life, like excluding myself from so much because I don’t have an instagram. a few years ago when i did have an instagram, i would hardly post, delete posts a lot, and be self-conscscious of my follower count. it wasn’t fun, but when i deleted it i felt way less connected to other people and, i still do. i’ve been thinking about making one again, but the idea still makes me anxious : having my life on display!?? my sister describes as “having your best moments on display” and then i remember how bothered i am by the disingenuous part of social medias. Havig no idea what’s really going on in these peoples lives but seeing the existence of their instagram and automatically trusting them more - it’s like how loud people are favored and respected over quiet people. less open mindedness
I also think im silly for having so much anxiety and overthinking about it bc it’s also not a big deal - most people have one and aren’t overthinking or feeling anxious. so why can’t you enjoy it too, if you want it? and if you don’t, there’s nothing wrong either!
beeberry is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
guy1111
Member
guy1111 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
5 yr Member
Default Oct 30, 2019 at 05:56 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNightWhistle View Post
My biggest fear has to be social media. The only profile I have is Facebook but I'll post something like once a year. Before I post something I get a feeling very similar to stage fright, and then I just abandon the post. The idea that hundreds of people are viewing my posts, and forming opinions about them, and probably talking about them amongst themselves makes me very anxious. This fear is honestly unfounded because every time I post a new photo of myself, I get quite a few likes and "reactions". I just can't help it.

I'm constantly asked by people "Why don't you have Instagram? It's how you can keep up with the latest things! How do you even stay in touch with people?!" I also just read an article that said that potential employers will go on a candidate's Facebook profile to get more information about them, and if they don't even have a profile, they might assume the candidate is some kind of serial killer.

The point is, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I feel like not having Instagram and Facebook profiles makes you a social outcast. On the other hand, I'm so afraid of it.

Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this fear? I haven't really spoken to anybody about it because they'll probably think it's ridiculous.
I have a similar problem, sort of. Definitely social media anxiety in general though. I just recently went to a support group for co-dependants and brought it up. It was so hard to do, I felt so embarrassed because it seems like nobody gets my anxiety over it. I invited anyone to talk to me after the meeting and only one person in passing says to me sarcastically, "social media, huh? Good luck." I felt so much worse. I have been through so many terrible things that feel like "normal" issues. I.e. Abuse, alcoholism, divorce, etc. and I'm so alone in this one.

Maybe you could try posting something here first to see what other caring, sensitive people think. We could encourage you! Then you could write about how it feels after you post it to the "facebook world".
guy1111 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
zapatoes
Grand Magnate
 
zapatoes's Avatar
zapatoes Looking for my way
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,263 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
10.9k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 30, 2019 at 11:23 PM
  #13
I barely go on Facebook and often post funny videos or pictures of my dog, and occasionally pic with me in it. I limit myself to going on there once to twice per week or less often sometimes.
zapatoes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
guy1111
Amethyst_Stargazer
Member
 
Amethyst_Stargazer's Avatar
Amethyst_Stargazer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 365
5 yr Member
56 hugs
given
Default Nov 04, 2019 at 12:38 PM
  #14
This is one of the reasons why I hate social media, because it's so overwhelming for me. Sometimes I will post things up and a few people will hit like, but I won't post a lot of pictures of myself. I just don't like going there because it seems like so many people are addicted to it and I rather not be apart of it. I only have it, to keep in touch with my family and friends. Plus I'm a rather quiet person and I enjoy my private time and an introvert. Social Anxiety is a problem, I wouldn't say it's my number one problem, but it is a problem. Sometimes I get upset if a certain person won't speak to me, I end up feeling as if something is wrong with me. I just want to be accepted by the people I deeply care about. When I feel rejected by them, I get very upset. It only happens to people I deeply care about and who are important to me. If I hardly know them, it won't affect me at all. Anytime a person I deeply care for won't reach out to me, I get upset. Being on Facebook gives me anxiety and I'm always worrying what others will end up thinking of me.
Amethyst_Stargazer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
guy1111
guy1111
Member
guy1111 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
5 yr Member
Default Nov 18, 2019 at 10:40 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_Stargazer View Post
This is one of the reasons why I hate social media, because it's so overwhelming for me. Sometimes I will post things up and a few people will hit like, but I won't post a lot of pictures of myself. I just don't like going there because it seems like so many people are addicted to it and I rather not be apart of it. I only have it, to keep in touch with my family and friends. Plus I'm a rather quiet person and I enjoy my private time and an introvert. Social Anxiety is a problem, I wouldn't say it's my number one problem, but it is a problem. Sometimes I get upset if a certain person won't speak to me, I end up feeling as if something is wrong with me. I just want to be accepted by the people I deeply care about. When I feel rejected by them, I get very upset. It only happens to people I deeply care about and who are important to me. If I hardly know them, it won't affect me at all. Anytime a person I deeply care for won't reach out to me, I get upset. Being on Facebook gives me anxiety and I'm always worrying what others will end up thinking of me.
Ok, I know now I'm not the only one with this problem. I am the same way, too. I want to just quit the whole damn thing. But like people in here I understand that it is not going away and it's the only way some of my friends and family communicate. I think because it bothers me so much and all the selfishness I see makes me want to just give up, I can't help but try and work through it. I'm tired of running from my problems. Why can so many people go on and off it and never worry or get upset? It feels like all my anxiety is amplified and it's a permanent record of all my insecurities for anyone to browse through. Like people can just go, hey there's his page let's check it out. Wow! Years of nothing. This guy's life sucks. But look at his wife's page she's so popular! What a loser this guy is. What's wrong with him? I feel so hopeless, like the more I ignore it, the worse it gets! I have enough anxiety with life in general.
guy1111 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
MrsA
Member
MrsA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Nevada
Posts: 308
3 yr Member
398 hugs
given
Default Dec 10, 2019 at 10:18 PM
  #16
I didn't have spcial media anxiety until a family member attacked me about things I posted and called me names for posting in ways they didn't like. Now I hardly ever go on facebook and I hide my posts from this person.

A lot pf online articles says it's not a big deal to not use spcial media and that people are happier when they quit. But I agree with you that not using social media makes me feel a bit left out. It seems that a lot of "friends" forgot me when I stopped posting and liking their posts. I supppse such people aren't really worth keeping in your life.

If you are nervous about posting personal things, try posting something casual like photos you took on a walk or of something interesting with a short caption about what you think of it. It could be as simple as "Wow!" or "Yay!"

I think facebook is best used as a sort of small talk, showing off your crafts or achievements, and its better if you don't over share private details or try to persuade others to political views. You might try keep it short and polite and say the kind of things you would say in a social setting with people you just met. You could comment on the weather or temperature and people in other places will enjoy joining in to tell you how their climate differs from yours, etc. By sticking to casual small talk, you won't accidentally post something you might regret or offend anyone.
MrsA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
guy1111
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:45 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.