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Member
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 25
5 18 hugs
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#1
Hi first time posting here in social anxiety.
I can handle routine social interactions, but anxiety kicks in when it comes to deeper relationships. I've always had friends but how I make them is by listening to what they have to say and giving advice/input, or through deep kinds of "being there for you when you really need someone" moments. I don't speak about what I really think, or share parts of myself, or joke around like I do at home to myself. I have a few close friends that have had other friends that they seem to really enjoy the company of, and I can't seem to understand how they achieve that closeness so effortlessly while I seem like an every once in a while type to them. I feel like a dishonest conflict avoidant cardboard cutout in social interactions, just reacting to cues but not dishing anything else out. |
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Anonymous41332, beeberry, Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, rohshall, zapatoes
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Breaking Dawn
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,694
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#2
I'm sorry no one replied to this and I see it was some months ago you posted. If you are still checking here then how are you doing?
I understand what you are saying I think. You write you don't feel you are sharing about yourself, that you are a supportive friend but that you don't experience that closeness with others. Is that right? It is similar for me and I think you hit the nail when you talk about not sharing about yourself/what you really believe. I think it's hard to connect without doing this. Maybe you can work on this a little at a time with someone you trust? Telling them a little bit more about yourself. It's a work in progress I find - hugs to you. |
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Breaking Dawn, mote.of.soul, rohshall
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,126
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#3
Yes, it's difficult opening up and just being a relaxed, lighthearted person if trust - and it doesn't even matter how long you've known the person - is an issue. I think one of the main things at the heart of social anxiety is a difficulty in trusting folks.
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, zapatoes
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, zapatoes
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,694
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#4
I agree Mote.
Trust can be difficult especially if in the past our trust was abused. |
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Breaking Dawn, mote.of.soul, zapatoes
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,126
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6 21.9k hugs
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#5
Very much so, @Discombobulated.
I hope the OP gets to read your first post because I think it touches on a central solution - learning to trust. And also trusting in the processes of personal growth and self esteem. |
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, zapatoes
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
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#6
Trust! If only!
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Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, zapatoes
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Member
Member Since Apr 2020
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 36
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#7
Social anxiety can be incredibly crippling, however exposing yourself to the situations you fear will set you free.
ERP (Exposure & Response Prevention) techniques are used to help overcome anxiety, this video explains it well - YouTube |
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