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Misery Business
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Default Jun 22, 2019 at 02:38 PM
  #1
Many people say I am missing something because I don't interact with people in social situation. I really don't know if that is really a big deal. After what I endured for 15 months in the horrible abusive daily social settings I was force into, I feel social interactions will bring me more anxiety that I already have. So how is that good for me? The only social interaction I feel safe in are the ones that my family is involved in or one of my very close friends. Even while at school and this year I went back to public school was very difficult and I had so much support from the School Counselor that it made my days a lot easier for me to adjust. I also had at least one of my two long time best friends incorporated into each one of my classes. It was still one of the most difficult things for me to manage. I still think I am not missing anything by just playing it safe and doing everything with at least one of my parents or my 14 year old brother with me or one of my close friends always with me. Am I wrong?
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Smile Jun 23, 2019 at 12:42 PM
  #2
My personal opinion (for what it's worth) is... no you're not wrong. Are you missing out on something? Yes you perhaps are. But, from my perspective at least, there's nothing to be gained by trying to force yourself to do things you're not comfortable doing. At least not all at once. If there are opportunities, on occasion, to try being just a bit more independently social that might be worthwhile. (After all, you do have a whole lifetime of potential social interactions to get through.) But I at least see no value in trying to make yourself do things you're not comfortable doing.

Perhaps it comes down to a matter of degrees. If you're just a bit uncomfortable perhaps it makes sense to put yourself out there. But if it really hurts, so to speak, why punish yourself? I personally don't think that's healthy. In years to come perhaps you may look back & wish you could have been more social. I don't know. But right now I think you have to do what you feel you can do within the limitations you have. My best wishes to you...

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 12:56 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
My personal opinion (for what it's worth) is... no you're not wrong. Are you missing out on something? Yes you perhaps are. But, from my perspective at least, there's nothing to be gained by trying to force yourself to do things you're not comfortable doing. At least not all at once. If there are opportunities, on occasion, to try being just a bit more independently social that might be worthwhile. (After all, you do have a whole lifetime of potential social interactions to get through.) But I at least see no value in trying to make yourself do things you're not comfortable doing.

Perhaps it comes down to a matter of degrees. If you're just a bit uncomfortable perhaps it makes sense to put yourself out there. But if it really hurts, so to speak, why punish yourself? I personally don't think that's healthy. In years to come perhaps you may look back & wish you could have been more social. I don't know. But right now I think you have to do what you feel you can do within the limitations you have. My best wishes to you...
I really appreciate your comment and I totally agree with what you are saying. Why put myself out there if it is going to put fear in me. At least right now I just might not be at that stage after all I have been through with the past abuse to be ready to put myself out there. Maybe in the future I might be. I mean, most girls my age go to parties and hangout at Malls and I have no interest in that because I feel it makes me too vulnerable. Thanks so much for your response.
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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 02:30 PM
  #4
I agree with with the wise and wonderful Skeezyks, Misery Business! I feel like that depends on what you WISH to do. Do you WANT to socialize more or do you feel comfortable enough on your own or with a small circle of people you already know? If you feel content the way you are then that's WONDERFUL! Keep doing what makes you happy! Not everyone HAS to socialize with lots of people and go to parties. We need to do what makes us happy. If you DO wish to meet new people perhaps this is something you may want to work on. It all comes down to what you TRULY desire. I'm sure you know the answer already. If you don't, just ask yourself that! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Misery Business, my dear, sweet friend!
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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 02:47 PM
  #5
MickeyCheeky, because of the abuse I suffered and the trauma that it entailed it is hard for me to trust people who are not extremely close to me and not in my close inner circle which basically is my close family and a very few friends who I have had for a long time and way before what happened to me happened. This is why to this day I am not able to go out without either one of my parents or my 14 year old brother with me or one of my 2 best friends pretty much all of the time. This is why when starting up public school again this past Fall it was such a huge deal for me and many things had to be put into place at the school to make it happen and safe for me. Some of those things were me feeling 100% safe with my school counselor and nurse and administrators. Then including my 2 best friends (one of them at least in each of my classes). This took a lot for the school, myself, my parents, and my friends and there parents as well leading into this past year just to make it a success for me. I really am thankful to everyone for making it happening. Now you see why I am extremely concerned with the upcoming interview and possible Movie Theater job that I could get for the Summer because it is a lot more involved that just getting the job and doing it. There is trust that is involved that is on my part. I really hope I can do it and not let down my therapist and others, but I will have to see how it goes.
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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 03:06 PM
  #6
I'm sure you'll do GREAT! Just try to do your best! That's ALL we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! Keep it up and please let us know how it goes!
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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 03:10 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I'm sure you'll do GREAT! Just try to do your best! That's ALL we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! Keep it up and please let us know how it goes!
I will try my best. That is all I can do. I will definitely let you all know how it turns out tomorrow afternoon when it is over. God I wish it was over NOW.
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