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ConfusedBench
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Unhappy Jan 18, 2020 at 06:49 AM
  #1
Hehe, it's ironic how I struggled to post here of all places for fear of being mercilessly criticised. I hope I'm not annoying anyone here.

So, I'm often quite anxious talking to other people in English, so you can imagine how nervous I get trying to talk face to face to someone in a language I only half understand. This anxiety culminated in a minir freakout in a toy shop in Switzerland because I didn't understand the French word for bag. I'm sure no one who was there even remembers that incident, except possibly the family I was staying with on the exchange trip, but my brain won't stop reminding me of it every time I do anything related to speaking foreign languages. It makes it awkward when I'm doing speaking exercises in class or watching bilingual comedy videos. The image of me freaking out echoes in my head over and over until I can't do what I was going to do.

The issue is, in a month or so, I'm going on a school trip to Paris. Before even getting to the fact that I might have to share a room with someone, we are going to get French speaking lessons while we're there. There's almost certainly going to be a time when we go to a shopping mall or something and I'll have to speak french to a complete stranger and not frick it up. What's worse, I've forgotten the word for bag again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the trip and I still want to go, I'm just really worried that I'll mess up and everyone will hate me. Is there any way I can get myself to stop ruminating over this one incident to the detriment of my language learning?
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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 07:47 AM
  #2
I ruminate a lot! I wish I knew exactly how to stop it.

You will have times where you'll forget a word or say something incorrect. Everybody makes mistakes. People don't hate others for making a mistake. Some will relate to it and try to help you. They won't be doing it to criticize; they will likely be trying to help. Others might ignore it or ignore you. I would try to 'reframe' how I plan to respond.

Imagine you are in the store and forget a word. Now, think about how you can respond in a different way. Don't let yourself feel criticism or judgement. Let it pass through you. It only hurts if you let yourself feel it. Most people are too concerned about themselves to worry about a stranger anyway. You might respond instead by telling them you are learning French and need help with the word. Or, just ignore the mistake and move on. When I am with strangers, I try to imagine people are my friends even if I haven't met them. It is just a trick to take away the anxiety of the unknown in interacting with them.

I hope your trip is wonderful.
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