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AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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Default Feb 10, 2020 at 07:49 PM
  #1
I’m curious to know which aspects contributed to your fears and feelings of inadequacy at least from your viewpoint?

All you know it’s not only one aspect. In my case, I kind of think my own temperament when I was born played a major role. Since very little I saw myself different. Almost everyone in this part of my country are so friendly, fun...I’m just the opposite. Pessimistic, shy, awkward. I guess this is followed by a feeling of not being accepted by my parents. On one side, my father thought it would be a good idea to accept my godfather’s request to adopt me ( his wife couldn’t procreate and this couple was the sort of best part in my family, they ****ing had money), on another side, my mum wanted I was born a boy as a sort of tribute to my grandad. That epoch was pretty patriarchal here in my country. However, I knew about all that when I grew up. So, I don’t know up to what point I could notice a lack of affection from my parents.
All I can remember is that I never felt good enough, I tried to avoid the opposite sex, even my own grandad, because I didn’t feel comfortable or confident with the opposite sex. As something very strange to me.
Also I remember feeling angriness, of course, it wasn’t very obvious. You know, girls had to be or at least, look nice, polite, softy.
I don’t know which weigh more whether my own way of being or how I was brought up. It’s hard to say.

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Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 07:14 AM
  #2
Hi,

Well, if it wasn't for the counseling and feedback I've received from the mental health field and my doctors as well, I'd probably have no frame of reference as to how to answer your question @AzulOscuro.

But these professionals assure me it was due to my unstable family life; abuses, neglect, traumas - just a scary, uncertain, environment for a child to be in - from the time I was born [probably from the time I was still in the womb, actually] right up to the time my last primary caregiver gave up and went away when I was 16.

I'm aware it can be a number of different things that can lead to social anxiety as well, but that's probably where it started, for me.
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