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Old 03-17-2019, 10:49 AM   #1
Calypso2632
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Default Death anxiety, hypochondriac?

Overshare here maybe but I'm trying to learn how to be helpful. While I struggle with anxiety issues my boyfriend has this death anxiety like all the time in his head that he's dying from this or that health concern or he is going to die. Also when anything health related comes up its straight to worse case scenario. Like cancer. But he refuses to ever go to the doctor to get looked at, or even get routine care. We have been together almost 2 years and he has never been to a doctor. And he said it's been years since he's seen one. I worry cause health is important to stay on top of. He's mentioned high blood pressure and heart palpitations. He drinks daily. Not a good diet, but not the worst either I guess. He's not over weight. Walks a lot. So he's in pretty good shape. But how do I help with his fears? And how to I help him take care of himself? I really think if he had a routine check up it would alleviate some of his fear. I don't believe pills cure everything and tend to look for natural alternatives, so I'm not trying to push cures on him or anything.. just trying to understand more..
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Old 03-18-2019, 01:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: Death anxiety, hypochondriac?

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Originally Posted by Calypso2632 View Post
Overshare here maybe but I'm trying to learn how to be helpful. While I struggle with anxiety issues my boyfriend has this death anxiety like all the time in his head that he's dying from this or that health concern or he is going to die. Also when anything health related comes up its straight to worse case scenario. Like cancer. But he refuses to ever go to the doctor to get looked at, or even get routine care. We have been together almost 2 years and he has never been to a doctor. And he said it's been years since he's seen one. I worry cause health is important to stay on top of. He's mentioned high blood pressure and heart palpitations. He drinks daily. Not a good diet, but not the worst either I guess. He's not over weight. Walks a lot. So he's in pretty good shape. But how do I help with his fears? And how to I help him take care of himself? I really think if he had a routine check up it would alleviate some of his fear. I don't believe pills cure everything and tend to look for natural alternatives, so I'm not trying to push cures on him or anything.. just trying to understand more..
Hi Calypso. Sorry you and your boyfriend are having these struggles There's a really interesting book about death anxiety. 'The Denial of Death' by Ernest Becker. Death anxiety is very common among humans.

I wonder if your boyfriend would be open to some guided meditation? It is a research-based method for reducing anxiety and depression. Some research suggests that it may even help to lower blood pressure and improve physical health. There are so many choices out there. here are a few examples:

Guided meditation for fear of death
YouTube

Guided meditation for trusting timing of your life
YouTube

Guided meditation for anxiety or physical discomfort
YouTube

Guided meditation for healing
YouTube

As for your boyfriend not wishing to go to the doctor, I don't think there's anything you can do there. It's his choice. No matter how much we love someone and want them to be well, we cannot take full responsibility for another adult's health. They need to seek that for themselves. It's a boundary issue. I think the best you can do is share some meditations with him and offer gentle empathy.

Peace and good health to you and your boyfriend.
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