I think I am actually stupid

Not sure if this is the right category but since it affects my self-esteem, here goes...

Late 20's woman here. I have never been diagnosed with anything, apart from OCD. I feel quite normal. But sometimes I find it really hard to THINK. Math in school was a nightmare. Sometimes when someone is explaining something to me, I can actually feel my brain halting and the information passing through my ears. I suck at telling stories and keeping conversations, because I compose the most uninteresting sentences. I forget facts, books, movies - I have an abstract idea of what it was about, but if you ask me to resume it for you - I will sound like that stupid Bimbo stereotype. And the worst thing - I often mess up stuff at work because I didn't think everything through - literally.

It's different when I sit to write - maybe that's why I avoid conversations over the phone or face to face. But my social life is suffering - people probably think I'm insanely boring, inept or... well, stupid.

I don't think I'm an intellectual or something, but... any way I can at least elevate this feeling of utter stupidity?

Well... I doubt you're stupid. Actually I can relate to quite a bit of this. This is part of the reason I'm pretty-much a recluse in real life but active here on PC. Of course I'm old too... so that's also part of my problem nowadays. But, to a large extent, I've always had similar problems. It's just getting worse as I age. (By the way, I always sucked at math too!) I've never had any psychological testing of any consequence or been formally diagnosed with anything. But I know I've struggled with serious levels of anxiety my entire life; & I presume that perhaps has been at least some of the cause of my own problems.

Here are links to 6 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to raise your self-esteem, the first by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D.:

6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

7 Tips to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Keep It There

10 Ways to Increase Self-Esteem | Cultivating Contentment & Happiness

3 Ways to Cultivate Genuine Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem Struggles and Strategies That Can Help

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-sel...ula-for-women/

You mentioned you've never been diagnosed with anything other than OCD. One other thought would be to take some of the quizzes & tests that are on offer here on PC. Here's a link to the listing of quizzes & tests that are available:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/

My best wishes to you...

To me it sounds like it could be anxiety or a learning disability. It would be a good idea to get tested. I know when I'm anxious, I can't focus properly. It becomes impossible to read (I see the words, but they make no sense). When my depression and anxiety are under control with medication, I can focus much better.

Are you taking medication or going to therapy for the OCD?

I don't think you're stupid. Stupid people usually aren't aware they're stupid, and definitely don't worry about whether or not they're stupid.

Sometimes I get spacey and disassociate (I guess?) and can't focus on what is happening right in front of me. I'm not sure what's going on in your situation, but I'd definitely go talk to a professional about it if it's something that bothers you.

I struggled a good deal of my life with thinking I'm mentally challenged. IQ tests of various types have all proven the opposite, but I didn't think that meant anything. Of course I'm not mentally challenged, but it took a while to convince me of that.

I agree that stupid people don't realize they're stupid.

And by the way, making mistakes and not knowing something are not what makes a person stupid. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has things they don't know. Is everybody stupid? I don't think so.

In my case, I have PTSD from child abuse, neglect, and school bullying. Years of it. My mind has been so preoccupied with healing from what I've been through that if I got spacey and scatterbrained, wouldn't that be understandable? I simply didn't have room for more information until I could clean all the emotional garbage out. If I didn't know how to do some major life skill (I was 48 before I got my driver's license) isn't that because nobody wanted to take the time to teach me, even though I asked them to? Whose fault would that be?

All I know for sure is that I'm approximately half as smart as I think I am.

The spacey result can come from one or more disorders compounded by stress.
Yes, get tested, learn stress reduction techniques.
You’re not stupid, you want to research this!

I don't think you are stupid either. I have concentration problems too; just flunked out of school for the second time on my life. Some subjects eluded me. I could see the words and recognized they were in English. I couldn't put them together and make sense of what I was reading.

My concentration problems are because of Clinical Depression and Complex PTSD. The events that contribute to those disorders actually change brain chemistry.