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Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Germany
Posts: 9
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#1
I used to be pretty easygoing and confident actually. Which is weird if you think about it, because I got bullied a lot as a kid, but in a way I was alwas rooting for myself, trusting that life would become better, and I was always happy about every little 'improvement' I made.
A few years ago this completely turned on its head. I believe it was triggered by me leaving a job though I'm not sure how it's related. Also maybe just due to getting older. I have since become hypercritical of myself. Improvements I make do not seem to matter, I feel small and worthless and just unimportant. When I get a compliment I down-talk it, I worry a lot that I will never have success in life and it's just... not enough. Me, my life, is not enough and never will be and everything is just utterly meaningless. That's how I feel. My therapist thinks that the cause of this is likely my mother, as she was always super critical of me and told me how I'm doing everything wrong. I have since cut contact with my mother. I however find it weird that this only really affects me now that I'm an adult - I haven't lived with her for years. I feel like I'm not rooting for myself anymore, like I have just given up. Rationally I know that I am smart, with a good degree and privileged and could do many things in life if I just give some effort but emotionally I feel like a failure. |
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mountainstream, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#2
Well... I'm 70 years old now. And I'm still affected by things that happened with me when I was a kid. I guess some people get past all of this sort of stuff... perhaps via therapy... or just because of their own personality make up.
I don't know why one person manages to bounce back & another just doesn't. I know I never will. I also know I'll never understand what it was all about either. It's just a ball of wire that will never be untangled. And I don't know how possible it is, or how important, to figure all of that out. My personal perspective is that, at some point, one simply has to put all of it behind oneself & move forward as best one can. Here are links to 3 articles, from PC's archives, that talk about feeling worthless or like a failure & what to do about it: When You Feel Worthless Feeling Worthless and Depression Here's Why you Feel Like a Failure + 10 Facts you Should Know | NLP Discoveries My best wishes to you... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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mountainstream
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Member Since Apr 2008
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#3
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