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meetlaw
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Default May 20, 2019 at 09:23 PM
  #1
I had somewhat of an abnormal childhood during which I avoided social situations. As a result I developed maladaptive social habits. These habits lingered into adulthood. I also had a posture problem which I tried to correct in a way that caused people to think I was strange. I would kind of try to straighten myself out by changing my head angle which appeared like I was glaring at others. Now I have the posture thing straightened out (no pun intended). However, when people see me they start to treat me differently because they see I am self-conscious about the issue. They start to watch me like a hawk and now when someone is around me they won't let me include them in my vision even though they would probably let someone else in the same situation do so. The result is frustration and an inferior existence. Would improving my self-esteem allow me to become less self-conscious over the issue and stop sending out signals that I am different should be treated that way?
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Default May 22, 2019 at 08:59 PM
  #2
Hi, svgandhi,

Yes, it will. Do you see a therapist? Who are the people who watch you like a hawk? Are you in school or do you work?

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Default May 22, 2019 at 10:56 PM
  #3
I am in the process determining a career direction. I am neither in school or work.

Mostly whenever I go anywhere such as a grocery store or out of my house I feel that people watch to see if any part of them is within my vision. Ever since the posture thing I became self-conscious about how to deal with controlling my vision. As a consequence I became careful about including any person within my vision even if it was perfectly normal to do so. As a consequence my development became stunted. When I tried to correct this people became wary because of my self consciousness.

I do see a therapist who specializes in Social Anxiety.
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Default May 23, 2019 at 04:55 PM
  #4
I am glad to hear you are seeing a therapist who specializes in Social Anxiety. Good for you! How long have you been in therapy?

Are you saying you avoid eye-contact? I don't understand what you mean by "people watch to see if any part of them is within my vision".

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Default May 24, 2019 at 09:19 PM
  #5
A normal person probably does not think about the process of seeing. I am self-conscious about this process. In the past I would get angry looks from people because of the way I was acting. I had bad posture. I would try to correct it by changing the angle of my neck, head, and body which might have seemed like I was glaring at someone. Now people watch my eyes very carefully to see whether I am looking at them.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 08:18 PM
  #6
Building self-esteem does help a lot in not worrying about what others think, and I can assure you that from personal experience. Have you tried writing a list of positive qualities that you have about yourself along with any talents and/or achievements? That definitely can help a lot.

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Default May 29, 2019 at 04:30 PM
  #7
@meetlaw

Do you talk to your therapist about this? He or she could recommend some reading to help you learn about this.

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