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Old 07-07-2019, 02:33 PM   #1
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Default Gaining self confidence

How can I gain self confidence? I have never been confident. I think it has to do with my upbringing. I was criticized and punished all the time as a child from my parents, and bullied from other kids at school. I have had a very negative image of myself that I am a failure and no thing is going to work for me no matter what I try, so, I quit things easily. This has led me to a situation where I am currently jobless and with no friends and no relationship (I am completely alone and lonely), which makes me depressed and my spirit is totally crushed to try to do any thing. I just stay in bed having all this negative thoughts. How to gain confidence? What makes people confident? I try some positive self talk, but I know it's not true, because the evidence points to otherwise.
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Old 07-09-2019, 03:04 PM   #2
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I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. There are so many articles, in Psych Central's archives, on the subject of gaining self-confidence, building self-esteem, & eliminating self-sabotaging behaviors it would be difficult to know where to begin... or (for me) where to stop. Here are links to a selection of 8 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that talk about how to improve your self-esteem, stop self-sabotaging, & gain self-confidence:

6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

7 Tips to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Keep It There

Self-Esteem Struggles and Strategies That Can Help

Breaking the Link Between Low Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage

How To Stop Sabotaging Your Own Success | Happily Imperfect

My best wishes to you...
Speak only if you can improve upon the silence.
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Old 07-11-2019, 12:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: Gaining self confidence

I found what really boosted my self confidence in the past was finding a job in customer service. Working in customer service and having to talk with strangers on the daily actually really boosted my self-confidence. It also helps if you learn to love yourself and increase your self-worth. I watched a lot of youtube videos, learned to stop self-criticism, and generally worked hard over a long period of time to value myself.
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Old 07-11-2019, 01:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: Gaining self confidence

Originally Posted by Nxious View Post
I try some positive self talk, but I know it's not true, because the evidence points to otherwise.
I understand your external circumstances are challenging. But there are internal positives that you could look at, such as integrity and honesty.

There is no doubt that this is a very tough season in your life. But please don't give up.
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