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Old 08-07-2011, 10:29 PM #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkrunner View Post
Thank you, Sabby and Elysium, for posting this article....
but I am confused by part of it....

TRIGGER WARNING




One of the examples of subtle or 'covert' SA is:



How can you possibly know if the "seemingly innocuous touching" had sexual overtones or meaning for the other person? Especially if it is 30 years after the fact? But even during the touching.....how do you really know the thoughts and intent of another person?

Thanks to anyone who can help with an answer
kt
This really struck a nerve when I read that my jaw dropped and heart raced
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Old 02-11-2012, 11:14 AM #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jexa View Post
I just wanted to add this. It's not an article, it's a manual you can download for free.. reading through it, it is very helpful.

http://www.ascasupport.org/manual.php


Thank you so much for this, I really needed something like this. Thank you, you have no idea how much this is helping me. Thank you!
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Old 03-02-2012, 05:51 PM #23
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Trigger,Trigger, Trigger


http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=170
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:17 AM #24
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Trigger(?)

Not sure if it's been posted before, but this article on 'Healing Shame' was really interesting and enlightening (for me).

http://www.psychsight.com/ar-shame.html

A link to other articles by this same author, there is one on abuse. ^
http://www.psychsight.com/article.html

Last edited by bohogypsy; 05-06-2012 at 01:39 AM.
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Old 06-07-2012, 01:33 PM #25
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Just found this:

http://www.survivormanual.com/

This is an aggregator type site for resources related to recovery. I found a ton of useful information on here on self-care, including a great article about dealing with holidays at home.
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Old 06-12-2013, 05:51 PM #26
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Tips for Secondary Survivors aka Supporters

This article is very good to share with friends and family who know what you are going through. It's kind of manual.
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Old 06-17-2013, 04:02 PM #27
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Well, the slide show just reinstilled what I knew. It is always good to check and recheck, just to make sure. My problem is how to get it to stop.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:41 PM #28
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Excellent article on emotional abuse in childhood, its effects, and recovering from it. By a lawyer with a specialty in children who were sexually assaulted, emotionally and/or physically abused, starved, ignored, abandoned, neglected, and more.

You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart by Andrew Vachss (Parade Magazine): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss
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Old 07-07-2013, 12:20 PM #29
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Just read through the links on this thread and found some really helpful information - thanks to those who shared the information.
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Old 01-30-2014, 12:58 PM #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mennayriu View Post
WOW. Thank you for posting that.

TRIGGER WARNING

"In his seminal essay, "Understanding the Batterer in Visitation and Custody Disputes", Lundy Bancroft sums up the asymmetry in favor of the offender: "Batterers ... adopt the role of a hurt, sensitive man who doesn't understand how things got so bad and just wants to work it all out 'for the good of the children.' He may cry ... and use language that demonstrates considerable insight into his own feelings. He is likely to be skilled at explaining how other people have turned the victim against him, and how she is denying him access to the children as a form of revenge ... He commonly accuses her of having mental health problems, and may state that her family and friends agree with him ... that she is hysterical and that she is promiscuous. The abuser tends to be comfortable lying, having years of practice, and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits ... when professionals believe that they can "just tell" who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.
Because of the effects of trauma, the victim of battering will often seem hostile, disjointed, and agitated, while the abuser appears friendly, articulate, and calm. Evaluators are thus tempted to conclude that the victim is the source of the problems in the relationship."


I cannot even begin to say how completely accurate this statement is concerning what my ex is doing to me AND his other child's mother.

This post gutted me. I saw the trigger warning, decided to read it anyway. But I thank you for posting it, it validates my experiences.

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