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Old 02-15-2018, 03:41 AM #21
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

first of all am HE not SHE also am not leaving him he says he is getting help from one of my friends this is going no further and he has been calm and we both are happy

We have talk about it together i made the mistake of posting this post i now want it locked but thank you all for supporting me but i think i let this get too far
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Old 09-30-2018, 12:12 PM #22
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sorry to bump this up again ...i need help he hurt me psycally grabing me when we had a fight ...sorry i cant cope he more controling now should have listened
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Old 10-01-2018, 09:58 AM #23
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Astral- View Post
sorry to bump this up again ...i need help he hurt me psycally grabing me when we had a fight ...sorry i cant cope he more controling now should have listened
Since It seems You are legally under his control You need to make an appointment and get Your medical team together OR tell Your doctor. They will find a shelter or place for You to go to be safe.

Don't let Your Husband say "YOU ARE CAUSING HIM TO LOSE CONTROL" If that were to be the case he'd be losing control on everyone. He is losing control ONLY ON YOU to gain control. He does that by using fear!

You are seriously in a Dangerous position! Get help as soon as possible. Try and Not argue with him. When You can get things in place to leave arguing only put You in a more serious position. Make sure He is giving You YOUR medications on time! That will be important to Your recovery.
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Old 10-10-2018, 02:00 PM #24
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

It sounds like he is very controlling.

The issue re medication and the usual lack of useful help (and their appallingly limited vocabulary... the “helpers” irl in this forest is regrettable
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Old 10-10-2018, 06:03 PM #25
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Astral- View Post
sorry to bump this up again ...i need help he hurt me psycally grabing me when we had a fight ...sorry i cant cope he more controling now should have listened
Is there a free domestic violence shelter you can go to to live in? Can you call a domestic violence hotline in Scotland and get help from a counselor? You need to get OUT of this situation with him as soon as possible. It is violent and it is escalating. I suggest looking into available resources to help you to leave him and SOON... there must be something.
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Old 10-27-2018, 12:25 PM #26
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

He has hurt one of my fingers he slammed the laptop down on it using phone unsure if its my fault think i need help
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Old 10-27-2018, 02:47 PM #27
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

I think he already passed the "warning signs." I agree with others that this is abuse. I want to say go to couple's counseling but he may get defensive... I think you should tell your family and/or his family. I agree with nicoleflynn that you should definitely contact the abuse hotline.
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:42 PM #28
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Astral- View Post
He has hurt one of my fingers he slammed the laptop down on it using phone unsure if its my fault think i need help
Please do not blame yourself. He is violent. You need to get help and you need to get away from him. PLEASE take care of yourself and get out of this relationship. It will only get worse.
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Old 10-27-2018, 08:19 PM #29
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You should NEVER go into couples counseling with an abuser; they need help all by themselves. Abuse is a choice, and most abusers don't think they have a problem and will blame the victim.
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Old 10-27-2018, 10:38 PM #30
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Default Re: is this a warning sign ?

Well he's violent and has grabbed you hard and slammed a laptop on your fingers so that's already abusive. Breaking things and punching walls etc is considered emotionally abusive, because it sends the message that "this is what I'm capable of doing to you" and "this represents what I want to direct at you." Being controlling is abusive too. So yes, these are huge red flags and he's already passed all the warning signs straight into actual abuse. Your rocking back and forth and the shock.. it's clear you are currently being traumatised. Please seek help and try to remove yourself from the situation and the relationship. Can you afford to live on your own or stay with a friend/family member?
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