[rise13eyond]

So many Cs. I'm going to put this here, seems pretty obvious to me that this is the result of sexual abuse so here we go. I kind of wondered at times what I'd do if I found myself in a stressful or anxious situation. I more or less found out the other night. My parents left that morning and would return sometime the next evening. During the day construction on the house was going on, there were of course, more people over to help. But later it was just me, my brother, and a couple of his friends. I told him if he took me in to town (I can't drive and I needed to go to an arts and crafts store) that I'd buy them dinner. So we headed out later in the evening. It was a pretty uncomfortable ride. I'm 99% sure they had all spent the pasted hour or so smoking pot. At first it was just more awkward than anything else (I don't really know his friends I can't even remember their names). But they were listening to some rather offensive music and when we got into town one of them just watched out the window and commented on the girls he saw, stating which he wanted to sleep with (not the term he used but let's try and keep this clean). So all in all it wasn't a very fun ride. It basically just ran downhill from there. Really awkward, although they'd never said or done anything to me I still don't trust men or like to be alone with them. It was the simple fact that I was stuck in a car with just three men, two of which I don't know. I started getting anxious ad more anxious, by the time they had dropped me off at the store I wanted to go to it was a full blown anxiety attack, and I stopped and cried in the middle of the store. I dreaded getting back into the car and going home to only them. So I took as long as I possibly could in the store. (On a completely irrelevant note I spent over 80$ on art supplies and it was money well spent). But I really didn't have many choices. I said nothing, we went and got some food and went back home. I called my mom in private and expressed my feelings and cried some more. Then we just decided I'd feel better at my grandmas, so that's what I did. I guess even when the threat isn't actually there, and I know that, I still do not know how to handle difficult situations.

[downandlonely]

Hi rise,

I don't know what happened to you, but I can understand why you were uncomfortable. I was never abused, but hanging out with men I don't know who are doing drugs and making sexual innuendo would scare me too. So I don't think your reaction was at all abnormal.

That said, are you in therapy? You might learn some techniques to cope with panic attacks if you have them in the future.

I'm wondering if you actually take on the energy of the others you are around. If they are fidgety, anxious or agitated, you may take on that energy. In males of that age, they seem to feel wired or wound. If there was an energy transfer from them to you, it may not be so much a therapy problem, as it would be about learning how to protect yourself energetically problem. One time I was really upset by a business partner. And I had a business coach. She had me do this over the phone:

1. Go to a favorite object/possession you have.
2. Tell me why you love that possession so much.
3. Then she told me I was that possession.

This is self-love. This is how we comfort ourselves and remind ourselves who we are. And we do this after we've had a very negative encounter. It's basically about discarding the negative energy of the encounter and replacing with positive energy through the self-love. And it worked for me, in that particular instance.

[Lilfae]

I totally relate, being around men I don't know is uncomfortable for me too, especially if they talk about women in such a manner. Reading about men talking like that, or seeing it on tv upsets me as well. Or seeing pictures where women are objectified. It doesn't have to be a threatening situation. I rarely find myself in potentionally threatening situations anymore. Having been abused you'll be sensitive to that kind of things, it's completely normal. That doesn't make it any easier to handle, though. All I can say is I understand what you're going through.