[Moose07]

Hey there
I'm not sure if I can talk or write about this yet or if this is the right place to do so but I'll try. I have to, since I can't talk to anybody else about this...Last Tuesday, my uncle (he's 50 years old and I'm 22 by the way) and aunt invited me for having lunch at their place because my cousin said that it'd be nice if we could see each other again anytime soon. That's why I accepted even though I know exactly how my uncle is. When he came to pick me up, he was way too early. I did not expect him to be that early, that's why I opened the door (I thought it might be the mailman or my sister). That wasn't the case apparently, so he followed me upstairs and I mumbled that I need to pick up my phone. I tried to grab it as quickly as possible but when I turned around with the phone in my hand, I wasn't surprised to see that he had followed me to my bedroom. Long story short: he dragged me to my bed, pinned me down with his arms around my chest, touched me all over my body (especially my private parts) and then he penetrated me with his finger. I tried to shove him off me and told him "no" and "stop" but he ignored that. When he was done with that, he jerked himself off and watched me. He even asked me if he could grab my breasts while he was rubbing himself. Of course I denied him that. Everything that happened after this is kind of a blur. I remember having lunch at their place, and playing some board games with them and then they gave me a lift back home. My cousin and aunt came with us this time. My uncle had told me before that my cousin also wanted to accompany him in the morning but since he left quite early, she was still sleeping when he drove off. My cousin and aunt told me that they'd love a day like this again because playing board games with me has been so much fun. They proposed next week and said that I could take my sister with me if I want (which is a good thing, because he doesn't touch me when anybody else is around). My cousin was so thrilled about that idea so I agreed. I love my cousin and my aunt. I don't wanna lose contact with them because of him. Thus this seems to become a more regular thing...You might think that I could just tell them that I'm sick the next time, but this isn't gonna work forever. Therefore I'll just try to avoid him as much as possible. I can't press charges against him either because I don't wanna hurt them. They need him. I feel so much guilt because I couldn't fight him off (he isn't even taller but so much stronger than me) and because I agreed. I can't help but to feel "raped" somehow. He entered my body with only his finger but it hurt and he did not stop when I told him so. Is it normal to feel that way?
Thanks for taking the time to read my "story"...

[Amyjay]

Yes, that is rape. I am so sorry your uncle did that to you, that he put you in this position.

Has he done anything similar to you before? It seems you are in danger of him doing somthing similar again regardless.

I do think you should take active steps to protect yourself. I know how hard that is in a family situation.

Out of all the people in your family, or in your wider circle of friends, is there one person you feel you could tll about this?

[Rose76]

What you are describing most certainly is rape. Do not allow yourself to be alone with this man.

Do you think you could tell your cousin that this uncle has gotten inappropriate with you - to put it mildly? You don't have to reveal the extent of his attack, if you'd rather not. Is your sister old enough that you could tell her?

Not wanting to lose your relationship with persons you love is understandable, but you must not risk being attacked again. He will interpret your willingness to be around him as a kind of consent to his advances. This kind of behavior tends to escalate. You are probably not the only young woman that he has victimized.

You don't need to feel guilty. You do need to protect yourself. You are not obligated to "press charges against him." Beware of thinking that you know for sure what is best for your aunt and cousin.

What you've experienced is horrifying.

[keepontrucking]

Originally Posted by Moose07

Everything that happened after this is kind of a blur.

That is the reaction I still have when I am working through My molestations. I think You were actually in a state of shock. Now, I call it being triggered. It is like I can lose time and I get "scatterbrained"

There are a few times as I have been working through My molestation stage that I have realized that Sometimes the Perpetrator Has flying monkeys that helped facilitate the abuse.

An example of that would be My Grandmother calling My mother inside to help cook dinner while leaving the victim (me) alone with "Step Grandpa." As a child, I did not understand that but looking at the picture going back I am pretty sure "Step Grandmother" was his flying Monkey.

Do YOU think that You can confide in ANY OF YOUR FAMILY? Do You think anyone else is getting raped, molested by him? How about his daughter YOUR cousin?

I do respect Your option to NOT tell anyone but I am also worried about who his OTHER victims are! I am worried about You also being put in some position again for him to attack YOU! Child Molesters/rapist have many victims before someone IS REPORTED>I understand that You might NOT want to report it to the authorities. Do consider reporting it to a trusted member of the family. After the first time, a person rapes You it only gets easier for them to repeat their actions.

You need to take some time thinking about YOU! You might want to tell him if he touches You again You are going to report it next time. Think about boundaries that You can set and stick with. Try and write in a journal of sorts to validate what happened. You will find that will help You to process what happened to You.

[12AM]

Call the police, report him. Being silent about this won’t do any good either to you or his family. They need him yes, that’s why they need to know about this so they can see his true face and not just the mask he’s putting on. If you truly care about your aunt and cousin, then let them see the real him. Who knows how many nieces he has raped? If you can’t do this for yourself then please do this for the sake of his family. Simple logic, if you were your aunt would you want your innocent niece that you love dearly to be silent and carry the burden alone when your husband raped them? Report him so he knows he can’t get away with this just like that. Report him so he won’t do it again to you. Report him so there won’t be any other victims. Please love yourself

So sorry you are in this position. Your reactions are perfectly normal. Are you the only person he does this to? Can you confront him & say it is not ok for this to happen again. He's not aloud in your house alone anymore. You won't open the door to him. Keep your phone in hand tell him you will call 911 if he tries it again IMHO you can't recover & get healthy if it continues to occur. You are not his toy . You are a beautiful, strong adult who doesn't have to put up with this juvenile behavior. Take care of yourself.

[FeverPitch]

It is completely normal to feel that you've been raped, because that is exactly what happened. If you said no, if you tried to push him off, even if you froze up and didn't say anything, he violated you. Avoid situations where you might end up alone with him in the future. I would advise staying away from him altogether... if you still want to see your cousin and aunt, and if you and your cousin are both women, you could suggest a "girls' board game night" or something like that.

It's up to you whether or not you go to the authorities, but ultimately if you did report him you would be protecting other potential victims. Someone who does this kind of thing usually doesn't only do it to one person. Your aunt and cousin may be shocked or feel betrayed when they learn what happened (if they aren't already just as afraid of him as you are), but is protecting the feelings of two people really worth more than protecting the bodily safety of yourself, them, and others? That being said, do what feels right for you. If you choose not to report (I never did), just talk to someone in real life, whether it's a family member, a trusted friend, or a counselor (as long as they're not a mandated reporter).