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Old 10-19-2020, 06:40 PM   #241
OutOfMyMind75
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Trig Re: Sod off you piece of **** What do you want to say to your abuser

I don't understand how you ever thought that what you did was okay. It is never okay. You have created an environment of isolation. I now suffer from depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, CPTSD. I started self harming because I didn't know what to do. I understand that I am blaming you for my actions against myself. I don't know if I will become sexually active because every time it crosses my mind, I think of you and what you did. I was 9, what made you think you could get away with it. I don't want you in my life, but at the same time I can't escape you.
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Old 10-20-2020, 12:24 PM   #242
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Default Re: Sod off you piece of **** What do you want to say to your abuser

I am sorry, it's hard to know what to say sometimes because the last thing you want is to give the person who hurt you any more power over you.
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Old 10-20-2020, 05:25 PM   #243
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Default Re: Sod off you piece of **** What do you want to say to your abuser

Quote:
Originally Posted by OutOfMyMind75 View Post
I don't understand how you ever thought that what you did was okay. It is never okay. You have created an environment of isolation. I now suffer from depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, CPTSD. I started self harming because I didn't know what to do. I understand that I am blaming you for my actions against myself. I don't know if I will become sexually active because every time it crosses my mind, I think of you and what you did. I was 9, what made you think you could get away with it. I don't want you in my life, but at the same time I can't escape you.
This is what all abusers do. They attempt to create an environment of isolation. Sometimes they ''succeed''.. for a while. I hope you can become free from this monster.. It is ok to place the ''blame'' where it belongs, with the abuser. You are not at fault for this monster's actions.
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Old 10-23-2020, 12:10 PM   #244
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Default Re: Sod off you piece of **** What do you want to say to your abuser

I look at this thread a lot Fuzzy, and at times I definitely have a lot of anger and want to vent it out. Then I feel horrible because the person I loved and thought I could trust turned out to really not exist. I was played while my sister basically embezzled so much of my parent's money. She played that she cared, but what she was really after was the power and the money and manipulated things to avoid revealing what she had been taking.

I have been stuck between a lot of anger and at the same time deep grief.

The last few years of my parent's lives were so hard on me. So many things I was not allowed to say, so many things my sister refused to let me know too. It was really traumatic when they were dying. I had not idea my sister could be that cruel the way she was with me. A part of me actually felt relief when they finally passed away. It felt selfish to feel that, but it freed me from enduring how toxic my sister was about hovering over me when I deserved to be able to say my goodbyes without experiencing that.

Then once I got the accounting which my sister threatened me not to ask for, tried to even blackmail me if I did, what I finally learned was the "why" behind all her secrecy and terrible cruel behavior. She had been stealing their money in every way she could. She had manipulated her own parents, even let them go without to line her own pockets.

When someone is this evil, showing anger is a waste, they actually enjoy it and will use it against you if they can. Never had I had anyone bait me as badly as my sister, my own sister that turned out to have this horrible dark side of her I had not realized was there. It will only give her a sense of enjoyment knowing I struggle and am angry.

I do wish I had known about my mother's money, I would have caught on much sooner. Part of what made it hard to see all that money my sister took was that she failed to attend to important health needs that my father deserved to have and it did contribute to his getting sick. My sister kept saying there was no money, all the while she was withdrawing so much money for herself and her daughter. And she was bossy and mean to my parents too. They were afraid of her and I did not know the truth and I feel like I somehow failed them tbh. To make matters worse my sister manipulated my parents to think I was taking the money she herself took. She has done that with the accounting too.

It can be hard to see how much someone you thought you could trust, thought you could love can want to hurt you and enjoy hurting you.

Last edited by Open Eyes; 10-23-2020 at 01:45 PM..
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Old 10-23-2020, 04:46 PM   #245
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Default Re: Sod off you piece of **** What do you want to say to your abuser

I hope you know how much hurt you cause me everyday. I dread going home to you, a horrible home that I get yelled at everyday. You make me want to run away and go live on the streets, just like you say you will make me do. 2 B's on a midterm report card and you yell at me and say I will never go to university. You remind me everyday I will not go to university, even suggested that I will become a construction worker. You say that I can drop out of high school and live on the streets, when that is the opposite of what I want. What I really want is to get away from you.
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Old 10-23-2020, 08:49 PM   #246
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I have NOT found that ''parents'' go along with things and are tolerant. ''because after all, its family''...

The exact OPPOSITE in fact. One of the things they forced on me was to appear to be ''a quiet person''

I am NOT naturally ''a quiet person''......

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Old 10-23-2020, 08:52 PM   #247
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I hope you know how much hurt you cause me everyday. I dread going home to you, a horrible home that I get yelled at everyday. You make me want to run away and go live on the streets, just like you say you will make me do. 2 B's on a midterm report card and you yell at me and say I will never go to university. You remind me everyday I will not go to university, even suggested that I will become a construction worker. You say that I can drop out of high school and live on the streets, when that is the opposite of what I want. What I really want is to get away from you.
These people sound abusive. My parents also were extremely controlling and verbally abusive. Their ''home'' was more like Colditz

They are IDIOTS projecting insults onto you. I did go to University despite their lies and opposition..

Some people with very LOW emotional intelligence still seem to think that insulting and abusing their child will ''help them to be high achievers'' Or they could be intentionally malicious. I'm sorry you're going through this.

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Old Yesterday, 10:18 AM   #248
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I have NOT found that ''parents'' go along with things and are tolerant. ''because after all, its family''...
I am glad you shared this Fuzzy because I had said that and I wanted to add to that but that thread got closed so I couldn't. Sometimes what I said is true and sometimes its the child that is expected to go along with the parent's behaviors even when it is toxic for them. Yet, it could be anyone's behaviors that are tolerated just because of the overall "tribal or group message" that is being followed.

What triggers me is how because of that I am often not allowed to talk about the toxic aspects of a person that bothers me. It hits so close to home with me and things I experienced due to a toxic individual/individuals that were so unhealthy for me and yet I was not allowed to say anything or was punished when I did.

There have been times where I have even been punished for saying something and instead expected to tolerate and be quiet. Times where I have been hated or shunned because someone else or a group wants to think it's ok and tolerate it.

Even when it came to the lawyer that handled my lawsuit, he was mentally losing it and people did know and I could not get help to get rid of him until it got so obvious. He was a well known name, a good ole boy and no one wanted to mess with the fact that he did not want to retire. As a result I was stuck with him and instead of my case being resolved in two years it took NINE long years and I suffered due to that in so many ways. Truth is when a person is mentally declining they deny it, they can act the part, dress the part, look like they can do the part, but they CAN'T do the actual tasks. I was TRYING to talk about it but he was protected due to him being a good ole boy.

The ptsd I suffered got so crippling. Then I had to deal with all the toxic my older sister had been creating so she could profit for HERSELF from my parents. She presented herself as the one to keep order and calm and that if anything got upsetting it was MY doing. She only ACTED like she was good an cared, but all that time she was extorting thousands. And hiding it through HER CHILDREN too. Or, accusing me for taking knowing full well it was herself. My sister is a gaslighter, covert narcissist and one of the most corrupt and mean individuals I have ever personally come across. There are times where a person can SEEM like they are something THEY ARE NOT and actually fool a lot of people. Things she did that were red flags were TOLERATED when in reality she was embezzling.
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