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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 07:29 PM
  #1
Has anyone been a victim of "future-faking"? Someone is not committed but pretends like s/he is to keep you around. It's done because of a benefit that a narcissist wants; or in an desperate attempt to prevent you from leaving.

For example, being engaged to someone with no intention of marrying him, but leading him on to think so, for the sake of having a roof over her head without having to work.

Future-faking is usually referred to cases in romantic relationships but I don't think it's restricted to it (like someone telling you you are her "BFF").

It happened to me twice by the same person:

First during the love-bombing phase in the beginning.

And the second time, during the hoovering phase when I started to distance myself from her, and she also happened to want something from me.

Last edited by Anonymous43949; Feb 07, 2019 at 10:30 PM.. Reason: spacing, comma
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Default Feb 14, 2019 at 01:52 AM
  #2
P.S. Maybe I was not clear and the article says it the best:

"Future faking is a great tool for a narcissist to get and keep you hooked. The narcissist gives hints or direct statements about the future in order to control you in the present. This is a part of 'managing your expectations' of what will happen in the relationship, since if you expect your dreams to come true, you'll act accordingly now, giving the narcissist supply and trust."

Source: Soulmates In Hell: WORDS YOU SHOULD KNOW: FUTURE FAKING
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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 11:15 PM
  #3
Yes. I was helping this person look for houses to buy (him) with the help of a realtor friend of mine, and researching the small business idea I had. It's all been a sham, of course. He never had any intention of any of it.

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 02:32 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLead View Post
Yes. I was helping this person look for houses to buy (him) with the help of a realtor friend of mine, and researching the small business idea I had. It's all been a sham, of course. He never had any intention of any of it.

I'm sorry to hear.
It's hard to get "led on" because you think are helping somemone with a goal, and it turnes out he just want attention, or use you for help.
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 12:27 AM
  #5
Hardest still when the appearance of a future together gets shattered.

In a matter of weeks I found out that our entire 'relationship' was false.
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Default May 28, 2019 at 12:30 AM
  #6
Another thread reminded me of this one. So I came back to it to warn myself and others:

Don't fall into future-faking.

A narc will do this when she needs something but will not remember your birthday nor respect you in a way that demonstrates that she values you enough to have a future with her.
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