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Old 02-25-2019, 07:22 PM #11
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Even though you own the house...I strongly suggest that you sell up and move to a new place. Sounds like the waters there for you have been poisoned..and for this I'm so sorry.

I loved my home that I had lovingly restored over an 18 year period...but without community life can become very isolating. I finally sold late last year and moved to a different State, and my abomination of a neighbour rarely even enters my mind now.

I could go after him, make him pay for what he did to me,prove to everyone that I was the victim and he was the aggressor...... but I would rather be safe & happy than right.

I hope that you find the strength and will to move forward from this Marylin...life is meant for living.
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Old 02-25-2019, 10:18 PM #12
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Quarter Life,I would never sell up and move,this is my home,that neighbour moved out years ago and the new neighbours are peaceful and this is a peaceful neighbourhood now like it was when I first moved here.I was just unlucky to have them move in that's all.The waters have not been poisoned here,the venomous people are gone!And I am still here and hope to stay for a very long time!
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Old 02-26-2019, 05:32 AM #13
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Then you are one of the lucky ones.
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Old 02-26-2019, 05:52 PM #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
This is what is called invalidation and it can lead to secondary traumas.
You posted some important info here that we could all learn from. Marylin was abused by her family member. This is someone she knew intimately for years, where she could not have "misunderstood" her to be abusive. We are not dealing with a brief one-time encounter with a stranger, of whom we sometimes misinterpret the look or the tone of voice.

Having a mental illness does not invalidate the abuse. If anything, it increases the likelihood of a person being targeted by an abuser who preys on her vulnerability. The abuser finds her to be an easy target, as she could use her condition to invalidate her story and silence her. The absuer places so much distress on someone who is already traumatized, so that she appears all the more unstable and incoherent when she speaks (I'm talking about myself as I was diagnosed with anxiety) and feels less confident about her story being believed, especially against her abuser who is a smooth-talker and a great actor/ actress. The abuser finds it easier to completely break someone down who is already halfway there from childhood/ past trauma.

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Old 02-26-2019, 06:01 PM #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin View Post
Quarter Life,I would never sell up and move,this is my home,that neighbour moved out years ago and the new neighbours are peaceful and this is a peaceful neighbourhood now like it was when I first moved here.I was just unlucky to have them move in that's all.The waters have not been poisoned here,the venomous people are gone!And I am still here and hope to stay for a very long time!
I wish peace and happiness for your future. You totally deserve it.
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Old 03-09-2019, 05:50 PM #16
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I am beginning to heal,writing down my trauma memories helps to make them dissipate and I am able to heal.Unfortunately my mum was ill again this month and as my sister is her carer I had to start talking to her again by text.I am managing to do so without getting too involved and so far without getting any abuse off my sister,so that is how it is for now.Mum came out of hospital today so I should be able to go back to no contact now.We will see,first sign of any problems I will block her again,if no problems I don't see why we can't leave lines of communication open if it helps to get practical matters sorted.I have largely eradicated my sister's influence in my life so that is good and I am healing and gaining my power,also good.
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Old 03-09-2019, 09:41 PM #17
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Thank you for the update, Marylin. It's good that you are setting boundaries with your sister and are also prepared to block her again at the first sign of problems. I have a tendency myself to overlook the first sign, and by the time I notice the second and third signs, the abuser's foot is already in the door...so to speak. Your update reminded me to apply "one strike, you're out" rule with my own narc abuser, should she and I were to resume contact again. You never know how your story helps others, and I really appreciate you sharing.

Hopefully, things will go smoothly and peacefully with your sistser as this is the best way. If not, you already know what to do to break off from her and get back to the peaceful state by yourself.

I'm so happy for the healing in your life.
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Old 04-03-2019, 04:25 PM #18
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Triggered trauma memories are haunting me again.I am so angry and don't know how to deal with the anger,I have no one to talk to,I feel lost to be honest.I wish someone was here who understood me and could comfort me,I could do with a hug and a loving embrace.But am alone as I always have been and always will be!
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Old 04-04-2019, 01:42 PM #19
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