[HD7970GHZ]

Hi fellow survivors,

Something that pops into my head often is the idea that so many of my abusers are successful and getting on in life without mistep, meanwhile, I am suffering endless residual effects of trauma and I am the only honest, ethical one...

Not that I ever will be abusive, but...

Seeing how my abusers are so happy compared to me - I often ponder the idea that being abusive or insensitive is the trick to happiness in this world.

Anyone else question this? When you are triggered angry - do you ever wish you could just be like them and not be brutally truamatized?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[Fuzzybear]

I do wish I wasn’t brutally traumatised

But I don’t wish I could be like “them”

While they may “Seem” to be “successful” ....

“Compared” to us......

While they may seem to be “happy”...

I question this “success” and this “happiness”...

At best, it’s built on exceedingly rocky foundations...

I would rather be me be than someone like them who disregards and abuses and
“moves on” with their “life” with no empathy

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you FuzzyBear! I agree with you

Hi HD7970ghz!

Abusers are not happy inside. Otherwise they wouldn't abuse in the first place. Their internal insecurity drives them to aggressively pursue their targets.

Because of their egos, they like to put on the appearance of happiness. In fact, they are not successful all the time. They just hide their failures and only share the success part with you. It's all about the presentation.

And we have a choice to get away from the abuser, but she is stuck with herself 24/7.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by ennie

Hi HD7970ghz!

Abusers are not happy inside. Otherwise they wouldn't abuse in the first place. Their internal insecurity drives them to aggressively pursue their targets.

Because of their egos, they like to put on the appearance of happiness. In fact, they are not successful all the time. They just hide their failures and only share the success part with you. It's all about the presentation.

And we have a choice to get away from the abuser, but she is stuck with herself 24/7.

Good post, I agree with this ... it’s all about their egos and the Appearance of happiness.. it’s an illusion

[sarahsweets]

No HD, absolutely not. Think about it.. someone who revels in someone's pain, inflicts pain, traumatizes, victimizes, abuses....must have some serious self hatred going on. Happy, positive people are not known for abuse.

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you for your posts.

I appreciate the input, and I agree with all of you.

Just need to clarify that I am not justifying or supporting abusers!

I am not saying that abusers are happy - I am saying that sometimes I get the idea in my head that because MY abusers are getting on with life and appear to be happy and successful, meanwhile, I am the only one who appears to be suffering, that those who are abusive have a way of compartmentalizing their abusive behavior and getting on with life - even more-so than survivors. (SO UNFAIR!)

That in itself is cause for concern and I think the natural process for survivors is to question why that is. This is simply one idea that pops into my head and I thought I would ask the community what they think about it. I know many survivors who ponder the same thing - often times secretly wishing they were less sensitive and unaffected by others abuse.

Thank you for your input. I think you have helped me a lot and I appreciate the honesty.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[Abusedbysister]

I think most abusers are narcissists and gain confidence by controlling others and bossing people around. They don’t realize how much they traumatized those they abused. Many of them even look back and talk about the abuse as if they are talking about a great memory and share the experience with others. I know that first hand and have some first examples. That confidence makes them successful later in life and they leave us as casualties. It is not fair though!