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Old 03-09-2019, 04:18 PM #11
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@TishaBuv good for you for ending the toxic relationship! You will find that being alone is much better than being with a toxic partner. I live alone with just a cat and I enjoy it.
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Old 03-09-2019, 04:25 PM #12
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@TishaBuv good for you for ending the toxic relationship! You will find that being alone is much better than being with a toxic partner. I live alone with just a cat and I enjoy it.
When the relationship is so awful, you feel alone anyway. I donít even have a cat. . I do have one teen son left at home with me. I appreciate every day with him before he goes off on his own.

Iím convalescing in a rocker like granny anyway! having issues with my body, not good prognosis, surgery needed, not sure about whatíll happen.
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Old 03-09-2019, 04:48 PM #13
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Actually I have a great gf. Also, I reached out to clergy, and they are supportive, simply by welcoming me to hang out with them to a higher purpose.

OMG I Ďcleaned houseí in my life. All the toxic relationships ended.
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Old 03-09-2019, 04:59 PM #14
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I have the opposite problem. So as a long time single independent woman, if you need any advice or someone to talk to hit me up.
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Old 03-10-2019, 04:21 AM #15
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I did it. Heís out of the house. Itís over.
This IS a really big step. I know you thought about it for a very long time. This big adjustment will open up other opportunities. Maybe get the surgery over with while you are adjusting. You still have many wonderful years ahead of you!
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Old 03-10-2019, 08:33 AM #16
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For someone who was diagnosed with a few different psychological conditions, by different MDs, I certainly stood up for myself, by myself, and Iím ok at the present. No therapist. Family literally abandoned me. I may be down, but Iím not yet out.

Have you seen the commercial for Hilton, where Anna Kendrick acts like the rude agent who couldnít care less and says that to someone? She says, ĎThatís your problem. Get out of here!í My sister was just like that to me, for real.
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Old 03-10-2019, 09:00 AM #17
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There were different toxic relationships occurring simultaneously:
1. FOO had its own dynamic around our mother. Of course, it was never all bad. There was lots of good, healthy stuff. But there was something so toxic that it imploded for me in September.
2. Husband could not communicate and cooperate with me, this became toxic.
3. Friend C, also toxic, too stressful to continue. Yes, also lots of good mixed in, too.

When there is a lot of good mixed in with something so toxic the whole thing will implode... I donít know how to finish this sentence. But that was the situation.

Yes, the culprit is control. If it is ME who is the one with the control issue, then weíll see moving forward.
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Old 03-10-2019, 09:02 AM #18
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I'm glad you got some support from friends and the church.
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Old 03-10-2019, 09:05 AM #19
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I'm glad you got some support from friends and the church.
And Iíve learned that support from friends is a slippery slope. Iím best off doing my venting on here, anonymously.
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Old 03-12-2019, 07:13 AM #20
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I have a history of all sorts; early childhood, heredity. The last psy I saw recommended I go elsewhere to get EMDR. I didnít do it. Maybe I will look further into doing it and what it is. Thank you for the suggestion.
For me EMDR has proven to be very helpful to dissolve traumatic memories. It doesn't go with one session though as they like to advertise it. And you don't leave the practioner's office totally changed. It takes a couple of days before you start noticing a difference.
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