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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
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Mar 12, 2019 at 11:56 AM
#21
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Hi Tishabuv, My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to break free from toxic relationships especially when we rely on them still. Ideally we can build alternative supports prior to breaking free - but that is not always possible. I want you to know that I have had to break free from toxic relationships. While it seemed counterintuitive due to the amount of distress and loss, what made it possible was alternative supports who helped me in the transition. In the end -it was worth it for me. And in so doing, those toxic relationships that I could not run away from completely (family) improved as a result of time away. I believe you know what is best for you. If you believe your health is at stake, ending the toxic relationship must happen eventually. I hate asking this but are you familiar with dependent personaloty disorder? I have traits of it. It definitely played a role in keeping me sucked into toxic relationships. Is that something you relate to? Thanks, Hd7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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 TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
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Mar 13, 2019 at 07:29 AM
#22
Quote:
One thing I read on DPD is the fear that you won’t be able to care for yourself due to such severe depression— yes, that’s the root of my fear! 
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 190
8 64 hugs
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Mar 13, 2019 at 10:10 PM
#23
Quote:
Separation is the hardest part. The other hardest part is learning to live life without having the abuser live as a shadow on your shoulder yelling in your ear every time you think about making a decision. I separated 18 months ago and it’s been hard evicting the shadow—and there’s no reason I need to worry about what she’ll think... except... I became so used to thinking that way... 24/7 ... and when I forgot there was hell to pay so it had to be 24/7... In some ways living with an abuser is a great distraction because I had no opportunity to think about anything else except the chaos around me. But freedom means I have the opportunity to heal. Yeah, it’s a little lonely at times, and I look around and think that at 58 I should probably have had other plans in life, but here I am and it’s so much better than it was 2 years ago. The other stuff —that happens little by little... |
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 Anonymous55879
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Mar 14, 2019 at 03:31 AM
#24
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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