Has anyone experienced an escalation from narc abuser after going no contact (or almost-no contact in an event you can't avoid that person completely)?

Originally Posted by ennie

Has anyone experienced an escalation from narc abuser after going no contact (or almost-no contact in an event you can't avoid that person completely)?

Yes, several times.

The first time was scary in that he showed up at my apartment (this was pre-cellphones and email), buzzing my apartment trying to get me to let him inside. I refused. But someone let him in, so he stood outside my apartment banging on my door until I called the police and asked them to come to my bldg. Then after they did, they told him to leave and he left and I never saw or heard from him again.

The second time, was a guy I dated who would stalk me and would show up at my work place completely inebriated drunk. After I broke up with him for showing up drunk at my workplace, he would still show up, and stand outside my building begging me to take him back. The guy was a trainwreck to say the least. I told the bldg. security guards about him and they refused to let him come into the bldg drunk thank goodness. He eventually left me alone and stopped calling and stalking me.

Another guy I posted about here in on PC, ramped up his online messages after I told him over the phone that his pattern of daily social media messages felt like he was chasing me, although he'd told me he wasn't attracted to me, yet he would send me flirty messages daily multiple times a day. Now, I blocked him so that was the only way I could get him to stop.

I can't seem to find healthy, normal guys to date. Probably because I haven't healed my Codependent pattern which Narcs are attracted to. Once I can fix that pattern, I am hopeful that I will attract healthy guys to date. Or be attracted to health guys to date.

Oh yes. It’s very tense and uncomfortable.

My narc abuser continues to chase me with an opportunity to isolate me. But I can't prove that she is stalking me when I step out to go to the bathroom and she's standing in the hallway as I come out. If I confront her, she could easily make an excuse like she thought she dropped her phone in the hallway, etc. These "coincidences" are increasing.

Someone told me not to run away next time but if she starts drama, look her straight in the eye and firmly say, "I'm sorry, I can't talk right now" to show her that I am not the same weak woman she used to know.

I think she chases me because she thinks there is a glimpse of hope that if she could just isolate me, she could manipulate me all over again.

[Fuzzybear]

I was thinking...why the escalation? Narc-abusers are usually social and popular because of their superficial charm, charisma, and their absolute need to be the center of attention.

So WHY the need to try to isolate me? WHY the escalating behavior over losing just one person from her life? What do you all think?

Do you think that narc-abusers actually face a "shortage of [narcissistic] supplies"?

Perhaps while they seem to grab the attention of many (especially the opposite sex by flirting), when it comes to people whom they can actually take their masks off in front of, the supply is scarce.

When I think about it, most people would not tolerate the way she treated me.

How can get off her radar?

Originally Posted by ennie

Has anyone experienced an escalation from narc abuser after going no contact (or almost-no contact in an event you can't avoid that person completely)?

Yes my abuser is always trying to get at me. Next week he is on a work duty and I spent the weekend ensuring at he will not be able to make contact with me.

[TheUrOther]

I've never not experienced escalation from an abuser - I assume escalation is normal behavior, at least for abusers; I thought that was part of the definition of abuse.