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Old 08-26-2019, 03:43 PM   #31
Mendingmysoul
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Default Re: Help! Advice for very abusive mother!

If you can,try to get a puppy.I did.Pets help to fill the emotional void that is created by parental abuse.They become our best friends. The abuse didn't stop for me,but I could cope with it.If you are interested crafts are good stressbusters.I learned knitting,crocheting, embroidery, tailoring,unhooking etc.There are some very good instructional videos online.Learning these skill will make your mind occupied .Stay safe cupcake.You will be alright.Praying for you.
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Old 08-26-2019, 03:45 PM   #32
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Default Re: Help! Advice for very abusive mother!

I am sorry read it as rughooking not unhooking.Typo.
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Old 09-10-2019, 10:37 PM   #33
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Default Re: Help! Advice for very abusive mother!

Thank you so much for your advice! Iím so sorry that happened to you. I will try to figure out a way to record her if I can. Iím not sure how since, as I said before, she spies on my phone and she also has smashed phones to bits and pieces before out of rage. I am a competitive dancer so I spend a lot more time at dance and I have started to increase my time to almost every day of the week so I can avoid going home. I also am currently in a musical which I have rehearsal for quite often, and I have a lot of homework nowadays that keeps me occupied and mostly out of her way. However though, she does barge in sometimes and follow me to yell at me, or she forces me to come to her or my punishment will be worse. Since I am a lot more busy now, she doesnít have as much time to yell at me anymore since I usually go straight to bed when I come home. I think Iím safe... for now. I will just have to figure something out when my schedule starts to lighten up a bit and I have to be at home more often.
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Old 09-10-2019, 10:39 PM   #34
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Yes, I have a dog who I believe, is what is keeping me from losing it at this point. Sometimes pets are better than people. At least most of the people that I know.
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Old 09-11-2019, 08:53 AM   #35
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Default Re: Help! Advice for very abusive mother!

I was thinking about you.I am glad to hear from you.Your mother barges in,of course she does.They don't honor boundaries.They can create misery out of nothing. Life is really hard when our own parents are like that.Take as many distractions as you can.Once you are an adult, you can move out or go to college out of state.Being away physically far away from her will bring some solace to your heart.I am guessing your dad doesn't want you to complain about your mother,but he knows you are suffering. Maybe you can spend some quality time with your dad when your mom is not present.My dad ignored the fact that mom abused me.And was angry if I tried to tell him.He liked to pretend my mom was an angel.But he himself was ok with me.I had some good time with him.It kept me sane.If your dad is nice to you,find a common interest with him and try to connect with him emotionally. I am guessing he too is scared of your mom.In that case he will connect with you emotionally.Me and my dad used to sing songs together discussed about movies,astronomy things like that.It took my mind away from the abuse.I am telling you about what worked for me,in the hope that something may as well work for you to cope and survive,until a real solution comes your way.Good luck to you.
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Old 09-11-2019, 08:56 AM   #36
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And please...please...update us.If you want to PM me,you are most welcome.Be safe dear.
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Old 09-12-2019, 12:06 PM   #37
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Thank you so much. My dad and I have a very close relationship when my mom isnít around and we spend quite some time together during the week. I do believe he is scared of my mom or what my happen if authorities do come to our house. I think that is why he tries to make excuses for my mom or tell me to apologize to her when I had done nothing so that the problem can be solved ( it never does get solved though ). He doesnít do much when she verbally or emotionally abuses me. He just steps in when things get physical, and then he tells me to keep quiet about it when Iím at school. However, I plan on moving out of state with my dad in two years because I will be graduating early. I donít know if my mom will come, but she said that she plans to. Hopefully though she wonít so that I can finally be away from her. Again, thank you so much for your help and support. It is very much appreciated.
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Old 09-12-2019, 12:45 PM   #38
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Default Re: Help! Advice for very abusive mother!

Thank you dear for the update.I am glad you have a good relationship with your father. My mom knew I had better relationship with my dad.She tried very hard to convince him that I was a bad girl and not worthy of his love or attention.Some times he believed it and asked me to oblige my mother more.So I understand when you say your dad makes you to apologize to her for no reason.My childhood situation is so similar to yours.Honey,try some self soothing,take care of your health,eat well and sleep well.You will be needing extra strength. So please take care of your health.Your quality time with your dad,be very secretive about it,if she witnesses she may get jealous and try to spoil it.My mom did.She became extremely jealous if somebody gave me attention.She went to extra ordinary lengths to spoil it for me and made people turn away from me by spreading lies.Life is not easy if such kind of people are our mothers.All the best sweet pea.
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Old 09-13-2019, 09:38 AM   #39
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Thank you for the advice. I will surely keep it in mine. My mom always complains that my dad spoils me rotten and that I spend more time with him than I do her. However, when I do spend time with her, thatís when she abuses me so thatís why I donít spend a lot of time with her. Also, itís the fact that my dad is able to get off of work earlier than her so we spend more time together. I do try to take care of my body too. I try to eat healthy and workout by dancing. My mom ridicules my weight a lot and always makes me weigh myself even though I am very muscular and lean. She tries to encourage me to skip meals or eat less, although I donít eat big portions. Luckily, due to my schedule, she isnít around when I am having my meals so I can now worry less about that.
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Old 09-13-2019, 04:14 PM   #40
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Default Re: Help! Advice for very abusive mother!

Sounds to me she is probably jealous of the time you spend with your dad...The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. People who are abusive are excruciatingly insecure; they dislike/hate themselves and take it out on others.
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