FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#21
Quote:
@Poiuytl I thank you for your kind words! I am happy you have a wonderful group to enjoy and benefit from!! __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#22
Quote:
Thank you! I am sending you hugs and kind thoughts as well! __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#23
Quote:
Thank you for your feedback! I did not know how to manage my life successfully then. I sought relief; that is also why I drank and drugged. I am grateful to be an American and live in the US for many reasons, including the access to the social services I needed to get better. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous43949
|
Fuzzybear
|
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#24
Quote:
I have to admit that in some (many?) ways I wish I lived in the USA rather than on the other side of the pond... I have tried many times to find effective help or support for my CPTSD, GAD, major depression, social anxiety ... etc .... but in this particular forest .... I have not found what was or is offered of any help, in fact it has had a negative effect. I’m not putting the blame on me or on “them” .. it is what it is and I have to “deal” with it. I guess tbh the main reason now I don’t insist they help me is because I fear traumatising my papa bear (my husband) as my CPTSD has already been made worse by the type of help offered ... and their labels. Sorry if this is negative or “whiny” - your post about being an American got me thinking. I’m trying to heal by other methods, “self help” .. and “self care” which I am not good at I’m sending hugs and positive thoughts, thanks so much for sharing __________________ |
|
Reply With Quote |
happysobercrafter, MuseumGhost
|
happysobercrafter
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#25
Quote:
Good for you for developing your self-awareness and taking the steps to get better. I am glad your family stood by you and are seeing your changes. I agree on AA not being for everyone. I needed one on one therapy, plus hypnotherapy because the roots of my issues were deep and padlocked in place. But every tear I shed and every issues I pounded away about on my computer helps me continue to improve. I am grateful for the work I can do on my own. On the pain we cause, girl, I hear you loud and clear. There are so many things I have done I wish I could go back and change. So, making amends is the path to make the best out of that possible so I keep my side of the street clean. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
MuseumGhost
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#26
Quote:
@SilverTrees You have risen above the monstrosities done to you. I see your purpose here. You are always kind, gentle and comforting. Do you stay in touch with any of your siblings? Warm hugs and kisses to you, babes. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous44076
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#27
Quote:
I can relate to the bumbling and I still bumble too! Are you children learning about recovery and how it can help them better themselves? xoxoxoxox __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
TunedOut
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
given |
#28
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
happysobercrafter
|
happysobercrafter
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#29
@TunedOut
You are welcome! I hear you about your children. Good for you on learning better ways to manage yourself and taking better care of your babies!! __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
given |
#30
Quote:
The above paragraph makes it sound like I am not still married to him. I am. We are TRYING to get on the same page in regards to helping them. When you are married, it is impossible to accomplish much when you don't communicate openly and work together. When my mental illness is untreated, it makes it harder for me to work through these issues so I am accepting and following to a greater extent the advice of my psychiatrist and therapist. I have been confronting my husband more about what is bothering me. I can handle confrontations better when taking my medications. I can't help my children without treating my mental illness. When I don't treat it, my anxiety makes me bumble more because I end up being guided by emotions and fear. Last edited by TunedOut; Jun 01, 2019 at 07:53 AM.. |
|
Reply With Quote |
MuseumGhost
|
MuseumGhost
|
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
6 736 hugs
given |
#31
I don't share about some aspects of my past because of this section of the community guidelines
Quote:
I see most of the posts on PC are about being a victim of abuse but I think it is also common for victims to become abusers at times themselves. And not taking responsibility for one's actions limits the kind of recovery an individual can have because the character defects that drove them to behave that way are not ever addressed. Instead people remain stuck in perpetual victimhood, when in fact they can also be perpetrators of abuse. I wouldn't post here about my own experience because I am afraid of getting kicked off pc or being judged, but I admire the courage it takes to admit to being a bully. __________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
|
Reply With Quote |
happysobercrafter
|
happysobercrafter, MuseumGhost
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#32
Quote:
Not whinny or negative. You are being honest. I wish you could find the therapists to help you better. I wish I could help you somehow. I send you hugs and positive thoughts too, babes. xoxoxoxox __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#33
Quote:
I thank you for your kind words. You know, I didn't even think about my topic not being allowed. I feel so much remorse about how I abused people and am working hard to understand and heal that ugly part of my life. If folks benefit along the way, then I am all for it. But, I hear you loud and clear. And I agree, I know I was a victim because my family bullied me and bullying is what I learned. And I know, as well as I think you must too, that there is no telling how high the numbers must be of bullies. They aren't only online, in our schools and workplaces. They are everywhere, plus bullying exists in plants and animals. I read that bullies are raised but I can't help but wonder if there isn't some genetic connection somewhere. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
MuseumGhost
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#34
Quote:
@TunedOut You have a lot going on there and it sounds like you are managing it well. I hear you on needing to make sure you take care of you so you can better be there for your family. I think some people never understand that, but it is the truth and so important. Are you seeing improvements with your family? I am sorry you and your husband are having problems in this area. It's a tough one for sure, but once you get a handle on it, life becomes so much easier to manage because you have the skills to apply. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
6 736 hugs
given |
#35
I feel like my abusive behavior is related to both how I was raised and to an undiagnosed mental illness that manifested itself eventually at Bipolar 1 with psychosis in my mid 40s.
Not sure if I would call it bullying. Maybe it was. I didn't know how to respect people's boundaries or have my own respected. But I would never write about some of the things i did here or anywhere on the internet. there is also a lot of shame about that. Did you ever do a 12 step program? __________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
Reply With Quote |
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#36
@tecomsin
I used to be terrified to even talk about how and who abused me. I first blogged about overcoming my fears I think in October 2012. It took me almost 7 full years of almost daily working on those fears to completely accept how they controlled my life to get free of them. My hypervigilence was like a noose around my neck. For me, my mother and sisters taught me to be bullied, to bully plus to feel the controlling emotions like shame, humiliation, and so forth. Once I faced my emotions caught up in their lies and accepted them, my thinking began to straighten out and I felt less shame and humiliation. I went to AA meetings for a while. I can't remember going through all 12 steps. One on one therapy helped me more than the aa meetings did. There were too many triggers in the meetings, plus I never knew who I was sitting next too. I never really felt safe there. Did you do a 12 step program? __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter Last edited by happysobercrafter; Jun 01, 2019 at 03:00 PM.. |
Reply With Quote |
MuseumGhost, TunedOut
|
MuseumGhost
|
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
6 736 hugs
given |
#37
HappyCrafter,
The shame I am talking about is coming from the other side of the coin, from having abused others in the past and having nowhere to turn to, not even PC, because it is against the rules. At least that is how I read the community guidelines. What I'm saying is many people will quite readily see themselves as victims (and once they were when they were children) but not as perpetrators. That's how the cycle can continue unabated. Yes I do a 12 step program. It is called emotions anonymous. It helps me get through my days and face my character defects as well as strengths. Can I ask you not to do that @ thing anymore as I get notifications for being 'mentioned' and it is just extra clicks for me as I will see your replies anyway. Thanks, tecomsin __________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
Reply With Quote |
happysobercrafter
|
happysobercrafter, MuseumGhost, TunedOut
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#38
Tecomsin, I will do my best to remember to not use the @, but my memory is dreadful and sometime in the future, I might slip up. But, I will try to remember that.
If you want to get rid of the shame or at least lower its hold on you, go to Creative Corner and read my chapters I posted there. I go over how I was abused and how I faced the emotions I inherited from my abusers that fueled my bullying behavior. There are three chapters there and they can be read in about 30 minutes, give or take. I wish you the best always!! xoxoxoxox __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
Reply With Quote |
MuseumGhost
|
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
6 736 hugs
given |
#39
I did have a look, HappyCrafter. I am sorry your mother was a psychopathic abuser. Unfortunately it doesn't help me to read of other people's abusive childhoods.
__________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
Reply With Quote |
happysobercrafter
|
happysobercrafter
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
given |
#40
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |