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Member Since Mar 2010
Posts: 43
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#1
Hi, I'm the daughter of a verbal abuser, and my husband is the son of a physical abuser. We both have codependent traits. I'm getting really frustrated because I can't seem to have a serious conversation with my spouse anymore. When I try to talk with him he gets defensive, crosses his arms, raises his voice, and tells me "No, no, no" no matter what it is. It doesn't matter if I use I statements or talk about my feelings. He even accused me of verbally abusing him when he couldn't relate to the grief I had when a relative died. How am I supposed to get through this marriage?
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Skeezyks
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#2
I don't know as I can really be of much help with this. Relationships (marital or otherwise) aren't exactly my long suit, as we used to say. However here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, that discusses how to talk to someone who always becomes defensive along with a link to an article that talks about how to survive and thrive in an unhappy marriage:
How to Talk to Someone Who Always Gets Defensive How to Survive in an Unhappy Marriage and Thrive My best wishes to you... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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