I Feel Silenced

My computer can't quit signing me out of everything for some reason. I have now attempted to write this three ****ing times, and I'm so ****ing tired of talking about it. I keep opening these wounds with zero resolution afterwards and it ****ing sucks. It's not just here, either, it's therapy too. It's happening again, took three consecutive sessions, and my T cancelled last week's session and this one. Right when I was talking about harsh **** that he was pushing me to open up about. Well I did and then got left hanging, not for the first ****ing time. Hell, this is probably the eighth extended leave from therapy he's "unintentionally" put me on in the past seven months. That's not actually a lot of therapy if you add in all the rumination in between heavy sessions that required more attention. But no, it's been made very clear to me now that he isn't reliable. Therefore I can't and won't trust him anymore.

The truth is, I've spent all morning trying to post this and now I'm out of time because I have to close up before people get here. I feel silenced. Might as well be.

I'm sorry you are having all of this difficulty. I've also had some instances where I'm replying to a post here on PC, & all of a sudden, I'm back to the sign-in screen. Another thing that's been happening with me is that my screen will simply freeze up when I try to preview a post or submit a reply. Sometimes it's momentary. And if I just wait the page will advance. But sometimes it simply stays frozen & I have to leave the site & sign back in. When this happens I typically can't get back in right away. I have to wait a couple of minutes or so before I can get back to the sign-in page. I've learned that, when this happens, I can copy whatever it was I've written &, when I get back onto PC, I can go back to the thread I was replying to & paste what I had written back into the message box so I don't have to start all over.

I don't know if you have Windows 10, of course. That's what I'm using although my laptop is quite old by computer standards. I subscribe to a YouTube channel: Britec09 that uploads videos on computer & other tech-related issues. One video that came up a couple of weeks ago discusses what to do when Windows 10 freezes up randomly. I actually haven't watched the video yet. (I keep telling myself I should. But it's easy to put off.) Anyway... here's a link to that video just in case it would be of any potential use to you:

YouTube

I'm sorry to hear of these obstacles in your life. I'm glad your post got through to us and we can view it now.

I agree that you should change therapist, as this person is not providing you the adequate help you need.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day. May good and comforting news come your way.

I am sorry you are going through this difficult time , but I am glad you did finally persevere and get your feelings out in your post. I am also so sorry that you are having issues with you T and that they are unreliable. I know this would be difficult as well starting from scratch with a new T, but have you thought about that as an option? At least maybe you could find a better match and someone who is much more reliable and get things worked out much better in the future. Good luck and stay safe and strong.