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Amphitrite
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Chatswood
Posts: 4
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#1
Hi guys,
I'm new on these threads. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, left my husband of 15 years. He has schizophrenia and when he was on treatment he and I got on well. He wasn't abusive while on medication. However I left him because he stopped taking his medication and went back on drugs and he started to be abusive again. When I left I decided to take a dance class and made an awesome friend. As we got to know each other. I opened up to tell her about my marriage and my husband. She told me about her husband and marriage. As I am listening to her describe how her husband is controlling (calls/texts constantly and she has to take a photo to send him to show she is out with me), pushes her to get angry and they fight often. It reminded me of my own relationship with my ex husband. Her husband sounds like a mirror of my husband's abusive ways. I am willing to listen and I wish I could tell her to leave her husband but I don't want to broach with her. I don't know what to do. It is like I'm watching my own relationship from another point of view with my friend. |
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Anonymous43089
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#2
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Like you, I don't want to broach the subject with her. I might have better luck with him since I've been friends with him longer, but it doesn't sound like you have that option. If you do bring it up to her, I would do so gently and not use loaded terms like "abuse" or "victim." |
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Grand Magnate
nicoleflynn
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Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
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#3
I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse; it was such a struggle to leave. The book that saved my life: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. All you can do for your friend is share your experience and give her some tools to help her. If you have a conversation with her, you could ask if she wants to leave, and how what is happening to her is affecting her. If you share your story, she will know that you understand and I am sure that will be a relief.If she feels understood, she might open up about what is happening ...and you can ask some good questions.
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