advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Amphitrite
New Member
Amphitrite has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Chatswood
Posts: 4
3 yr Member
Default Jul 12, 2019 at 11:42 PM
  #1
Hi guys,

I'm new on these threads. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, left my husband of 15 years. He has schizophrenia and when he was on treatment he and I got on well. He wasn't abusive while on medication.

However I left him because he stopped taking his medication and went back on drugs and he started to be abusive again.

When I left I decided to take a dance class and made an awesome friend. As we got to know each other. I opened up to tell her about my marriage and my husband. She told me about her husband and marriage.

As I am listening to her describe how her husband is controlling (calls/texts constantly and she has to take a photo to send him to show she is out with me), pushes her to get angry and they fight often. It reminded me of my own relationship with my ex husband.

Her husband sounds like a mirror of my husband's abusive ways. I am willing to listen and I wish I could tell her to leave her husband but I don't want to broach with her.

I don't know what to do. It is like I'm watching my own relationship from another point of view with my friend.
Amphitrite is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Anonymous43089
Guest
Anonymous43089 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 13, 2019 at 12:35 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphitrite View Post
As I am listening to her describe how her husband is controlling (calls/texts constantly and she has to take a photo to send him to show she is out with me), pushes her to get angry and they fight often.

I am willing to listen and I wish I could tell her to leave her husband but I don't want to broach with her.
Yeah, I'm in a similar position with two friends who are dating. He's not to that level of controlling yet, but I've been seeing the "red flags" for awhile. He's got a temper, and she's always trying to placate him and clean up his messes in an attempt to control his moods.

Like you, I don't want to broach the subject with her. I might have better luck with him since I've been friends with him longer, but it doesn't sound like you have that option.

If you do bring it up to her, I would do so gently and not use loaded terms like "abuse" or "victim."
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
nicoleflynn
Grand Magnate
nicoleflynn has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
10 yr Member
60 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 13, 2019 at 07:17 PM
  #3
I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse; it was such a struggle to leave. The book that saved my life: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. All you can do for your friend is share your experience and give her some tools to help her. If you have a conversation with her, you could ask if she wants to leave, and how what is happening to her is affecting her. If you share your story, she will know that you understand and I am sure that will be a relief.If she feels understood, she might open up about what is happening ...and you can ask some good questions.
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:41 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.