Help! Commemorative tattoo of my dead abuser - my father?

Hi, my dad passed away 3/24. He had an intestinal infection from chemo and it turned into sepsis. I watched him die in front of me in the hospital. I maintained a relationship with him my whole life because i Always thought what if he died? Would I regret not having the relationship. I’m glad I did because i Was right. I would have regretted it. As a child he physically, emotionally, and sexually abused me. He never had sex with me or anything like that he just usually picked me up and threw me or hit me or once sprayed me with a hose in the winter. He did other physical abuse also. I do have good childhood memories but I was always afraid of him and his mood swings. He terrorized me and i never knew when he’d snap. As he got older he calmed down and after his first diagnosis of cancer which he beat in 2004 he really changed. I was 21. I now want a commemorative tattoo on my arm with his initials and dates. I do love him. We ended his life on good terms. My best friend said absolutely not because id Be getting a tattoo of my abuser and my dad is not a good man. All my friends are for the tattoo but I never told them about the abusive childhood I endured. I forgave him for it so I could live without hating him for my own well being. I have been in therapy for the abuse as well. So should I get the tattoo or is it a bad idea? Maybe I’m still in the grieving process and should wait? I’m very torn about this.

When it comes to tattoos I think people are wise to wait until they are certain.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I think you were wise to say that you are grieving and therefore should wait.

Please wait. It sounds like a long time, but I'd give it at least a year before you make a decision. As someone who has many tattoos, I would advise that it is not wise to get a tattoo while you're uncertain about the image you want.