My partner is abusive

Hi everyone ,

I am new to this site

I have depression and borderline personality disorder I am a people pleaser I also have abandonment fears aswell ,

I have been with my partner almost 10 months ,over the past 5 months it has gone from name calling like dumb c.... , to physical hurt ,

He hates that I cry all the time but I just feel worthkess , ugly and no good I have lost who I am , a year and a half ago I lost my partner my best friend he sadly couldn't cope and took his own life, I grew from that and got stronger was driven to make everyday count to keep my head up and live and make him proud .

Now I am utterly broken , isn't talk to anyone because beknows a few people who are nit the best ( I have never met them nor do I ever want to very scary )

He has threatened to kill me , someone will get me , he will ruin myl ife .

How do I goon like this I am so lost I love him and so do my kids, but I am scared the next time he hits me itwill be the last or severely injure me .

I cry everyday I sleep all day .

Can anyone offer some support , encouragement anything I feel so alone .

Thank you xo

Hello Gem: Welcome to Psych Central. From what you wrote it sounds like you are in an extremely abusive, & potentially dangerous, situation. My personal opinion is you must escape as quickly, & safely, as it can be done both for your own safety as well as for that of your daughters.

If you were in the U.S. I would recommend you reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. But I see you list yourself as being in New Zealand. And, since I'm in the U.S. I'm obviously not going to be familiar with what domestic abuse services may be available to you there. However here are links to 2 services that perhaps may be of some help:

Helpline

Domestic violence – Women's Refuge New Zealand

My best wishes to you & your little girls. Please take care.

Definitely end this relationship and given how abusive this person is, it's best to not say anything and just leave.

I agree just leave. Love only goes so far

I can easily say leave but everyone knows that is the obvious answer. Before you leave you need a plan.Women's Refuge New Zealand This had some info about domestic abuse and leaving. You cant just up and leave unless you have resources and a safe place to go. You cant say you are going to leave because that could put your life in danger. What does your family say? I cant stress enough how important it is to have a plan set up. If you just get up and leave he will find you are then the abuse will be worse.