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Old 11-08-2019, 02:33 PM   #1
Mendingmysoul
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Default Jane doe on the porch

The little one,Jane Doe,it's me.Yeh right I was Jane Doe.No body ,non existent to others.The little one Sat on the porch,shell shocked,looking down at her legs,shivering in cold,in severe pain,but emotionally numb.The legs looked like rotten meat or half cooked red meat.Trying to understand what the hell just happened and why so. She never new there is something called warm water existed.Bathing herself in winter is terrifying. She could not understand how her dad is humming while in shower.How he comes out relaxed and fresh from the bathroom.All she knew is ice cold water.She has to bath with ice cold water.Sometimes she pretended that she bathed,and hated her own smell after a couple of weeks.Then she had to bathe anyway to get rid of that foul odour.One day she couldn't do it any more( she figured out others are having fun with hot water.) So she requested...mom....can I bathe in warm water today.Her big eyes turned pitch black.A twisted smile emerged.I did not budge.I felt the rage,but I insisted...mom please I am too cold.Everything went blank from there.I found myself sitting on the porch looking for someone to come and hug me.What happened to you dear child? No one came.
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Old 11-08-2019, 02:45 PM   #2
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Default Re: Jane doe on the porch

I asked for hot water and I got ...Hhhhottttttt water.
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:09 PM   #3
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Default Re: Jane doe on the porch

(((safe hugs)))

I am so sorry you went through that. You asked for your needs as a child, and your parents never met your needs. That is so sad, and painful. You deserved warmth on many fronts... Warm water and warmth from your parents.

I can relate to those pitch-black eyes. I have seen it in certain people. It is scary and cold.

You deserved so much more. I am so sorry you went through that.

BTW, there is also a forum for CEN, or childhood emotional neglect. It is also a place where you can share and receive support.

Your parents sound neglectful and abusive. That was wrong of them to treat you that way.
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:26 PM   #4
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I still remember like it was yesterday.I thought everybody was taking bath with the same ice cold water.My dad whistled and sang. My siblings giggled in the tub.I blamed myself for being picky.I thought something was wrong with me that I shiver and clench my teeth in bath.Finally I figured out the secret nobody has bothered to tell me.And got punished severely for developing a little awareness.
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